Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my next door neighbor took up playing the flute as a new hobby. Unfortunately, he's very enthusiastic about actually practising it. It's been 3 hours and counting. FML
Today, over the last year, my husband has gone from listening to normal people music to constantly listening to boring classical music thanks to his new coworkers. We went to a work party and he spent half the time debating dead white composer men. LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC, YOU WEIRDO! FML
Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML
Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML
Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML
Today, I went into my husband's man cave to ask him a question. He was blasting a song about being an unemployed single loser, singing along, and playing video games. What the fuck did I marry? FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
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Top comments
iam_yummylicious 12
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz? Just shove the saxophone up his ass. He'll be quiet then.
stuth186 7
Personally if I had a saxophone up my ass I'd be anything but quiet
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Comments (73)
jazzmusic617 7
Jazz is amazing, as long as it's someone who understands how to play it.
smarter_than_you 0
Selfish bastid!
starburst7596 14
Interesting analogy
NAAMxLOOS 11
Why do you hate jazz so much?
jhudde 0
Three guys build a shed for wasps? Never heard that before
xenno92 3
I'm a freelance jazz musician and I'm not a big fan of free-jazz as well lol
IBelongToJeebus 0
That's a stunning simile.
Narwhal234 6
Play Rick Astley really loud and when you walk by him, say "You got Rickroll'd."
poseidon1 3
All hail the wasp overlords.
livelaughlove511 4
That's a really good analogy.