Today, I was in a bodega when I spotted a celebrity I’ve had a huge crush on for years. I decided to go up and introduce myself, but instead of saying something cool, I panicked and shouted, "I love your cereal!" They looked confused, and I immediately realized I was staring at the wrong person, just someone who just looked a lot like them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML
Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.
Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML
Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML
Today, I went up and spoke to someone at my local grocery store because I thought he was my neighbor. We chatted for nearly two minutes before he politely said, "I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea who you are." I still had to finish shopping in the same aisle. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
Today, I ran into someone I'd never had a crush on in school, but because I've realised we have a lot in common, I get nervous whenever I see him. I was so near to him while paying for food that I had an anxiety attack, and had to leave quickly. FML
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
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Top comments
Perry Winkle 6
Was it a real tiger instead of Tony? I hate it when that happens!
BurnInDemonFire 39
I hear a lot of people in New York look like Count Chocula. Easy mistake to make.
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Comments (4)
Lost Reggie 22
Odds of dating a celebrity are pretty low, you should have asked them out.
Perry Winkle 6
Was it a real tiger instead of Tony? I hate it when that happens!
GoogieWithers 25
You were obviously 'lucky' that you were 'charm'-ed by them.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I hear a lot of people in New York look like Count Chocula. Easy mistake to make.