Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML
Today, I was driving home from school when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. My offer was rejected as she said, "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway. My driveway. FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML
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Top comments
containsnosoy 0
"Fun flirty reaction"? Are you sure they're not just flipping you off?
fwongraven 10
Now imagine you're a woman and you're walking alone or with a friend, and some bloke drives by you in his car and starts yelling at you. At best it's disgusting and at worst it's downright scary. Whether it's justified or not there's a lot of fear amongst women about being attacked or raped, have some sense and think about what you're doing.
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Comments (117)
namhowell 6
LOL 11? You must be a dumb ass.
oNikkio 0
I don't jog for a reason.
PhillyFox 0
"Fun and flirty?" Where the hell is your school located? The Jersey shore? One of those girls you love to honk and shout at should throw a rock at your face for acting like such a pig.
meaganliz 0
Plus one, dear.
beccabites 0
Not your fault
Masterturtle21 0
hahahahahaha pervert
frankgirl 0
YDI for being a douche anyway, don't shout at girls out running, try having some respect.
Tenacious_Tonyq 0
ahhh ive done something similair to that .... i honked at someone forgot i was like 2 minutes from my house and they followed me and came to the door...it wasnt a 11 year old girl though
kyarush 10
hahahaha yes!
rwac07 0
ohh shit I never knew that fernando torres (#6) uses FML
sevlen 0
lil 11year old ***** eh?