Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Your therapist obviously thought you were a lost cause and was trying to get you to end it all. I'd check to see of she took out an insurance policy on you recently.
Pleonasm 36
It might have been a pane in the ash, but I bet that it was relieving throwing your worries our the window like that. Nothing to get burned up about.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
sioux4 17
Did he/she specifically say to do it inside? I don't think you're supposed to do that unless you put it in a fire place...
ughfmltears 12
Wow your therapist is a ******* idiot... Fyl.. Not only are you going through tough times but the person who's supposed make you feel better is a complete ******* moron don't worry gone through similar situations so I change therapists eventually quitting and figuring out My OWN life rather than wasting time and money to get someone else advice...
Deviant_fml 5
1. That type of shit is what you expect to hear going in to see a shrink. 2. I think the OP is the bigger moron for tossing the paper on top of other trash WHILE IT WAS STILL ON FIRE...
Shade1982 21
@115: You are the kind of person who shows what is wrong with this world. Do you go around blaming others for all the stupid things you do? The therapist gave a legitimate advice. If you can't figure out on your own how to do this without setting fire to your house, that is your own problem, you are the idiot, he isn't. Changing therapists because you didn't like his advice shows exactly that as well...
cmac86 24
I'm surprised your yard didn't catch fire, in all honesty.
Yolandababy2 14
Next time throw it in the toilet and flush it down the toilet. At least you'll know the fire will go out quick.
Qualdog12 12
I think the therapist meant to throw it in your fireplace, not the trash can
Fatcatgizmo 3
Maybe he meant to light it in fire in the fireplace? Or not inside your house?
love_me_electric 20
You're an idiot. Obviously you don't throw it in the trash while it's still on fire, put it on something non-flammable until it burns out.
SofiaFaolan 8
It sounds like your therapist needs a therapist
Radgears47 23
Sounds like you had a hell of a lot of negative thoughts
anon385 23
How dumb are you?