Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with, "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML
Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML
Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML
Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML
Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said, "We'll call you soon." I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
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Top comments
Flora_fml 6
That totally sucks and I hope you kicked your friend's ass because there's NO excuse for that he did at all!
400382 0
don't give up and keep lookin'
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Comments (55)
Dorque 0
And you didn't get your butt down there to explain in person? Heck, don't even tell him your friend was drunk if you don't want, there are plenty of valid reasons someone might say something really dumb like that. Some of those surgery medications will really make your life interesting for a while.
Aaven 0
it could have been worse. your drunk friend could have picked up the phone and said "gypsy! give me your tears or I will take them from you!"
fuzz97 23
Borat FTW!
Articwolf492 0
lmaoo i love it
angel55033 12
that was still irresponsible he didn't want to hire drama I don't blame him
AshlingArdan 0
dude it's never a last hope, it's sad thinking like that as to why the suicide rate is up.... stop being emo and go out and get a job. also revenge of the friend, shut them in a bathroom or wait till they take a shower and rig a febreeze can to continually spray on them, hilarious and it'll totally cheer you up emo
newburton13 26
If that were my friend, he'd end up in a roadside ditch.
thenewlautner 4
kick your friend on the face.
Envy1798 2
leave a message, dumbass