Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with, "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML
Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML
Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML
Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML
Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said, "We'll call you soon." I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Flora_fml 6
That totally sucks and I hope you kicked your friend's ass because there's NO excuse for that he did at all!
400382 0
don't give up and keep lookin'
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
TheEpicScrewup 0
The next morning I would go into his room, open his curtains (let's hope it's sunny, or at least bright) bang pots and pans togethers and yell, "Wake up bastard!" Make sure you hide all the advil in the house. Revenge is a dish best served cold, my friend.
mrcarmine 0
what the **** are you doing letting your drunk friend answer your phone?
xfreak804 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THATS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IM SORRY
mavedatthews85 0
I hope you kicked your friend's ass.
Talenie 0
tell borat he just screwed an opportunity in an unfortunate time where there's not many..bitch slap.
mak349 0
Slap him HARD
RunZoneFive 0
No way man, theres tons of great jobs out there. Don't give up!
louisianagrrrrl 0
beat the crap out of your roommate?
Ravenite 0
Well that's one less friend you got to worry about.
SHTFCKINGHAPPENS 0
BORAT!!!