Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mad at my husband for slacking off on chores. I wanted help so we could both spend time with our daughters who were visiting. He was having a heart attack and didn't want to spoil the visit, so he kept quiet. I just got mad instead of noticing he was in pain. I'm a jerk. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML
Today, I made the mistake of admitting to my husband that he was too perfect with the way he's always helping with cooking, cleaning and everything, and that it was starting to make me feel a little useless. He got mad and has now turned into the textbook definition of a lazy slob. I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. FML
Today, my husband and I were having an argument over accidentally leaving a to-go container of leftovers at a restaurant. He asked me why I didn’t remind him and I said that I forgot. He asked me, “What if you forgot to breathe one day? You’d die.” Then he kicked me out of the car and told me to walk home. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML
Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, the door handle on my car broke. Now I have to roll down the window and use the outside handle to get out. Not only is this annoying, but my girlfriend gets irrationally angry every time, and rants about how trashy it looks. I can't fucking help that the handle broke, babe. FML
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Top comments
SadisticPlatypi 6
I guess it's your turn to yell at him.
isallwaysme 27
but did you make an effort to remind him? or did you just sit there and watch him do the work before telling him to let you out?
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Comments (112)
vandeele 8
What an asshat. talk about anger issues... might I suggest therapy?
lovelyohhmee 8
Well now you know how he feels, messed up it had to be under those conditions.
jayleensmama 14
I'm sorry, was the window broken as well? You couldn't roll the window down and open it yourself?
pixiemay 5
why not get out the other door? seems you used the broken door as an excuse not to help.
Sathane 21
Quick pro tip - It's not about the groceries. If he's complaining you're lazy, think about why he's thinking that. If he's got no basis for it, he's just an asshole.
memowgirl 10
You couldn't roll down the window and open the door yourself?
DixieNormous007 4
roll down the window
Omniprism 15
That's when you climb out the drivers side and say your such an inconsiderate, thoughtless ass hat. And I I'm the one that regrets our marriage. Works both ways ********.
Fedezzer 20
What is it with FML and the phrase "ass hat?"
FerrisCat 7
Way too many of you have crank windows... :P
heliophobia 13
Jeez, OP, I'm sorry. Hopefully your husband apologized for saying something like that.