Today, my nephew asked me to help build his science fair volcano. I got too invested in making it realistic and used way too much baking soda and vinegar. The eruption shot across the kitchen, hit the ceiling, and dripped red food coloring down the walls while my sister stared at me in annoyed shock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML
Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML
Today, I opened a bag of flour a little too enthusiastically and it blew up. The resulting cloud of flour set off my smoke alarm. My neighbors then came knocking, wondering if the building was on fire, while I stood there looking like I'd been pranked by a baker. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, during science, my friend thought it would be funny to pour corrosive acids into the reaction test I was making. I had to explain to my parents why I have no eyebrows, but the worst part is that I only got a D. FML
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire, and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
Today, halfway through assembling a toy kitchen for a birthday, I realized the instructions made no sense and half the screws looked identical. I still somehow finished it and felt triumphant until the kid opened the oven door, the whole thing tipped sideways, and I had to spend the rest of the party holding it together with one hand. FML
Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
Exactly like the eruption of this famous Indonesian volcano that created the mini-ice age in Europe in the 1600! Now your nephew only has to add this tidbit to his show-and-tell. Perfect!
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Comments (1)
Yudith 28
Exactly like the eruption of this famous Indonesian volcano that created the mini-ice age in Europe in the 1600! Now your nephew only has to add this tidbit to his show-and-tell. Perfect!