Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML
Today, I told my coworker she looked great and asked if she was “glowing” because she was pregnant. She isn’t pregnant. She is, however, going through a breakup and just gained 10 pounds from comfort eating. FML
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML
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Top comments
MuchDance90s 0
Never assume that a woman is pregnant unless you see the baby's head coming out. It's never a safe assumption!
hellogoodbye1996 6
obese prostitute.
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Comments (141)
man_in_black08 28
r u from canada? jus curious.. the room u r in is sooo typical of canada.. jus saying, i aint a creep :)
mariazzz 5
not your fault OP I'm sure she had a few people congratulating her without knowing she miscarried. Innocent mistake... Could happen to anyone
EvilPotato 15
"how's it going" works wonders.
stevenmx86 8
Well how could you possibly have known?
MaiDeath 0
Epic fail!
FMLsOhilarious 6
Well at least you weren't wrong. She WAS pregnant.
lulzcow 0
I assume all bitches are pregnant and if they aren't they need to get there. sex, food, and babies are all woman are for anyways.
insanesna1l 0
assumption is the mother of all **** ups. Besides she probably ate the baby as comfort food
mfmylifesrsly 30
agree with 90 :D
zeta24 0
run away fast