Today, I used the community vacuum to clean my dorm. When spots started appearing on the floor, I assumed it was leaking water. By the time I finished there were tons of wet spots on the floor. Later I found out that someone had just used that very vacuum to suck up vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my housemate used a dry vacuum to unclog the toilet before moving out and then didn't change the vacuum bag. He left several weeks ago. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML
Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML
Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML
Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML
Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
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Top comments
nodbor 11
you did not notice the smell?
Jimboom 12
Eww. Though in college I wouldn't be surprised if it was used to pump someones stomach. Though still, could be worse. I knew someone who tried to use a hoover to clean up after someone shat themselves in the hall. And then he put the hoover back in the cupboard!
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Comments (56)
Endymion_fml 0
At least it wasn't semen.
humpty_dumpty_fml 0
hahahahahaha!
Mnemic 6
You didn't smell anything? :-P
Amkii 0
Ewww, lawd, that is nasty. People need to learn proper cleaning techniques for various substances... vacuums are not meant to suck up such wet stuff... ugh.
XxoJollyho27 0
ew........
secretish 0
Thats pretty damn gross
D2theLux 0
This is one of the few recent FML's that I actually think is worth posting on here. It's not something stupid. It's actually bad for you. I say to get revenge you should vomit or defecate on their pillow and then put the pillow case back on. Then they lay down and rest their head on it. It's less mean then letting them get in in their hair.
Jimboom 12
Poor poor Henry. He doesn't deserve that.
theoldGP 0
that's really gross. nastyyyy. really sucks dude
Why_Me77 0
Oh dorm life...Gotta love it... ahahaha XD