Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote, "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML
Today, I was insulted online by a teenager, who said that I was probably a fat loser who still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML
Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
Today, I got break-up text. She called me a poor, broke, little dick, sorry excuse for a man and said that my mom should have swallowed me "as an egg". She also said that no one could ever want me. Thing is, I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML
Today, I was looking at my boyfriend's rarely-used Facebook page as he was next to me. Last time he was online over a year ago, he had something up that said, "Still looking for that perfect girl." I jokingly said he should update it. He responded, "Why? It's still true." FML
Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML
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Top comments
Killer_fel 15
Yeah! My I knew my comment was accurate!
HighGTurn 12
Karma biatch
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Comments (309)
saschateehee 1
Bahaha, thought it said "stroking his tiny dog" I was like wtf? What guy does that...
fuckmebutdontfml 16
lol the first three times I read this, I understood the same thing and was like WTF???
laurenmacias 0
Karma is a bitch
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for trolling. I hate trolls, they make everything so unenjoyable. And now we know most of them are unemployed and living in their mother's basement with no girlfriend other than their own hand. Thanks for clearing up the stereotype with true facts. Also, in case it wasn't clear, stop trolling and find some other way to get your kicks. Like actually getting a job and stop mooching off your mom and/or the government's money.
justin3301987 2
Someone upset you over the Internet before. Chill bro.
laden_swallow09 35
This is rightfully deserved, 89. It's a loooong time coming.
qtip2245 0
It would have been better if you just said yeah I have a small dick
justin3301987 2
Fyl. I don't know your circumstances and neither does anyone here but do try and make your life better. You won't regret it.
randomgurl27 0
ur life is sad
KiddNYC1O 22
I laughed with a slight snort after I read this.
ThecomingofTan 9
Wait a minute, trolls cry?
speedsk8r4evr 1
Get a life! Stop making yourself feel big by trying to bring other people down by saying words you would never have the guts to say to someone's face! YDI!
miker345 0
Forget these people saying you deserved it. Life gets nothing but better everyday you wake up , just always keep that in mind. There's going to come a time when an opportunity for you to better yourself arises and these days will just be a distant past
JuuChan 3
You must be joking. No one should ever WAIT for an opportunity to come along. If you want to have a better life you have to DO SOMETHING about it yourself. Just sitting on your ass is a sure way to be a loser for the rest of your life. Please don't give out advice anymore.
miker345 0
I should have been clearer. I wasn't saying sit around twiddling your thumbs. I'm just emphasizing that when he sees an opportunity which will inevitably arise, he should take it
Go_Away_141998 4
Yeah, but karma doesn't like trolls. Does he DESERVE it?