Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote, "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML
Today, I was insulted online by a teenager, who said that I was probably a fat loser who still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML
Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
Today, I got break-up text. She called me a poor, broke, little dick, sorry excuse for a man and said that my mom should have swallowed me "as an egg". She also said that no one could ever want me. Thing is, I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML
Today, I was looking at my boyfriend's rarely-used Facebook page as he was next to me. Last time he was online over a year ago, he had something up that said, "Still looking for that perfect girl." I jokingly said he should update it. He responded, "Why? It's still true." FML
Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML
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Top comments
Killer_fel 15
Yeah! My I knew my comment was accurate!
HighGTurn 12
Karma biatch
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Comments (309)
btstig 11
Then Op says to himself " **** a girlfriend. My hand knows everything I like, and it never complains about my size."
challan 19
Jill is the best girlfriend ever! She never complains about his mom, not going out or his obsession with Asian fart ****.
XanderJayNix 17
34 (challan) - Hmm, I don't know any Jill. Perhaps you could acquaint us?
Nevereverland 8
176- stick one of your hands out, and there you go.
jadieegurl17 0
Dang
johnnyrogers97 9
Haha u suck
Cad6 24
Under normal circumstances, I would thumb down a comment as idiotic as this one, but for this FML, I feel like it's actually quite appropriate.
KawiRacer69 5
says the NAZI with a toy gun...
teague95 16
59 - watch yourself someone who takes a picture with a BB gun is definitely a total badass.
challan 19
And what makes him a Nazi? His blonde hair? Oh shit, am I a Nazi?! Why didn't somebody tell me? If you think someone's comment is stupid... Why reply with one that's even dumber?
zumiez069 5
NAZI
KaelaKhaotic 5
All I read up to was 'I was trolling'. Then I thought 'Yeah, this guy deserves it'.
backoffahole 3
Lmao you deserve it for not having a real life. Log off, get up and get out the house.
21jason 9
Hey usually you have to pay for that kinda stuff! Real revaluation thank them op
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Get out of the chat room and start chatting up some girls, bro. A little charm goes a long way.
challan 19
Ahhh Mr. McFeeli we meet again! Good advice for the lonesome wanker! ;)
esines 9
Yeah but a little dong goes a short way
teague95 16
^haha this reminds me of "I'm the biggest 2 inches of your life"
salmonodin 9
Chat rooms are full of jail bait. If OP got caught he would be a unemployed loser living with his mom AND a sex offender. Stay away from the chat rooms OP, your life sucks enough!
kingsley_fml 8
Internet tough guy, strikes again!
ClosetTroll 10
Now I know these comments actually are right on target. Sorry about you, pal. If you realize how pathetic your situation is, it's time to make amends.
BobbieH 19
YDI! Stop being a troll online and engage in the real world once in awhile!