Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML
Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, I waited months for a specialist doctor’s appointment, only to find out that it's the same guy I already saw for the same problem years ago, who was at his wit's end after seeing nothing wrong on the x-ray, and had no clue as to what might be causing my pain. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I have been getting my period every week and a half and they are ridiculously heavy. He then spent the entire time discussing painkillers (I'm allergic to most) and when I asked to be put on birth control, he said I'd need another appointment for that. FML
Today, after establishing that we have no idea what's wrong with me, only that it's chronic pain, my doctor informed me that even though I've been dealing with increasingly worse symptoms for years, I'm not a "good applicant" for pain medication. FML
Today, after months and months of trying to get my blood pressure back up to normal, and try to get back to optimal health, my doctor told me I'll never get better for the rest of my life. FML
Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, after 8 years of being guinea-pigged for medical testing that "might work" on my ribcage for chronic pain, I finally caved and tried going to a pain clinic. The doctors' responses mostly consisted of, "That's weird" and, "That doesn't make any sense." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If you had come to see me, I'd tell you that the cause of your pain is FML commenters making stupid comments, making the same grammatical errors repeatedly, and failing to learn from mistakes. No wait, that's where MY headaches are coming from. Nevermind.
ilikeapplejuice 7
Time for another new doctor.
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Comments (158)
Wani_fml 12
Homeopathy! Because who needs medicine when you can use an expensive placebo instead!
Guren 0
OP's doctor sounds like the most optimistic person in the world
Ruffclue 9
homeopathy is a pseudoscience. the doctors actually laught at itz you might as well just look into black magic to remove your pain. I m a medical student and i really think you should go to a specialist and plus it all depends on the degree of your pain.
Powerage66 16
I have chronic back pain, plus sciatica pain that runs down my entire right leg, from years of manual labor. Weed is the only thing I have found that helps control the pain.
osteobabe 13
Try manual therapy.
Snafuusmc 12
What a penis...
kirbeaar 19
I think you should probably get another doctor. A doctor that is actually willing to help you out a little but, good luck with that, OP!
rodnog 1
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on homeopathic medicine? He forgot to take it. Also, OP, i don't think that was a real doctor...
aurorakitty 3
Red grapes are said to help... staved off a cold and gastroenteritis for me. Yay resvertrol!
_Oblivion_ 12
Surgeries are actually the government's secret way of implanting alien material in you while you are sleeping.
beclaurela 18
Did he get his degree online?