Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Froot Loop. FML
Today, I found out that my friends from high school have yearly meet-ups to catch up and talk about what they've done since school. They've done this for 3 years. I havent even been invited once. FML
Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML
Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML
Today, my ultra-Christian neighbor called the cops on me (again). This time, it was because she could smell "weed" coming from my apartment. I was burning sage. FML
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Is he cheerious...
Dang that sucks, just tell him that is fine I always wanted some cocoa puffs!