Calculating Tax and Tip By FML Approved - 11/10/2017 03:00 Math is hard. I agree, your life sucks 500 You deserved it 141 Share Tweet Share
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 412 You deserved it 1 443
Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 623 You deserved it 12 425
Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 249 You deserved it 28 501
Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML I agree, your life sucks 12 807 You deserved it 24 053
Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 828 You deserved it 338
Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 358
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