Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'd set aside a weekend to play Dungeons & Dragons. One of our players suddenly had trouble with his wife and brought his toddler over. The kid would not stop crying, getting into places he shouldn't be, and loudly shitting his diaper every 15 minutes. I had to eject the player from the game. This is why I don't want kids. FML
Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML
Today, I'd set aside a weekend to play D&D. Some old acquaintances wanted to join, saying they'd pay for food. When I picked them up to drive them to the game, they claimed they were screwed on their paychecks, couldn't afford food or gas. However, they could afford Mountain Dew and candy bars for themselves. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
Today, I asked my 4-year-old daughter where her father went. She said, "Out to have fun with Zoe." Acting on suspicion, I followed him and did a stakeout. Hours later, I barged in and caught him playing Dungeons and Dragons. "Zoe" is the female wizard he plays as. FML
Today, my best friend of a decade ended our friendship, all because I wouldn't kick someone from our Dungeons and Dragons table that he disliked. FML
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded, "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded, "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my son what his goals in life are. He said he doesn’t have any career goals, and the only thing he wants out of life is to play Dungeons and Dragons. I have failed as a parent. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, my friend told me that he was having a Scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special Scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in, everyone was playing beer pong. FML
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Top comments
boatiebanter 0
You dad was a douche as a kid. And clearly sees nothing wrong with it. But as long as he doesn't pick on you now, that's not really an FML.
d347hm4n 0
Well, we all know the type of guy your old man is. Still, D&D is one of the more wholesome hobbies available to the young generation, enjoy yourself :D
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Comments (208)
manoverboard 0
Dungeons and Dragons sounds like the best game in the world to me. I want to play it so bad. xD
freber120 0
Nerd.
blalien 0
My dad said to me about a year ago, "If you ever want to get laid again you'll quit Dungeons and Dragons." I replied that was ironic because my college's gaming club had about a one to one gender ratio and my dating life was going just fine. You should clarify to your dad that D&D is just a game like Monopoly or Poker, and it doesn't mean you dress up like an elf and speak in fake Olde Englishe. And if you do, stop doing that. Seriously, it will pay off in the future.
genius_man16 1
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's hilarious, your dad rules
Art_Vandeley 0
Your dad is pretty cool. You guys are dorks.
Flexo_fml 0
Don't let these douchebags get you down. Be who you want to be. Nerds rule the world and jocks dig ditches.
RoarAmour 0
**** your dad. And apparently most people on FML. I definitely just created an FML account to say that.
Gregorus_Prime 0
**** all the retards on here. Your dad's a ******.
headcreeps 0
haha, sounds like something my dad would say.
cd5love96 0
You need to grow up, get your **** wet and stop being a fag.