Today, my girlfriend was cool with me having a side piece, until she found out it was a gay guy. She kicked me out and dumped me. I texted him, asking if I could crash on his couch for a while. He thought I wanted a relationship, and cut me off when I said I wasn't interested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
So you dodged a bullet with the girlfriend, and missed the target with the side dick? Did you break a mirror that morning?
RichardPencil 32
That sucks.
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Comments (1)
Justkidding100 41
how is this OPs fault? seems like his gf was homophobic and now he's double dumped. just because you're all puritans doesn't mean he did anything wrong
BurnInDemonFire 39
So you dodged a bullet with the girlfriend, and missed the target with the side dick? Did you break a mirror that morning?
RichardPencil 32
That sucks.