Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text, saying, "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML
Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had left the house without her cell phone. I called her phone to let her know she forgot it. FML
Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML
Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
HuskyButt 0
"I lied, just because I am lazy, but I couldn't even do it right." Oh yeah, obviously your life is terrible.
babygraprefruit 0
Mother of the year of the year award goes to... (drum roll) ...Not you, you lazy bitch.
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Comments (212)
lbdancing 2
Well... it's a woman... and she says 'my daughter' in her text... so logistically that would make her the mother.
misspeg 0
...I hope she reads these comments. sure, if the child is old enough it was the child's responsibility etc etc etc but judging by the way this FML was written, OP just couldn't be assed which is a shame. I know not every1 has awesome parents but still...it's your own child. u should be willing to give your life for them.
badbunny 0
YDI for having needy bastard children who need shoes.
chicken_lover 2
mercy, i would agree with you if her daughter is a teenager. but if she is in elementary school, her mom should bring her the shoes. i assume she's younger because the school called her mom. for older students they don't really care. also this might not be for gym or something, maybe she lost a shoe or it broke. there were plenty of kids in my elementary school who lost their shoes all the time. so if she's a teenager, i would see why op would lie, because that's just annoying. it's still wrong, but i would see her point. but if she's younger, then op is just a lazy bitch and she needs to care more about her daughter. and i'm not trying to be rude, so if it comes off that way it's because i wrote it poorly. i usually agree with everything you say and you are funny. haha
twiddleFig 0
wtf..? you send your kids to school naked eh?
rockstarK9 0
wow, your a shitty mother. way to be a lazy bitch.
mstairs1987 0
p
joethebiden 8
Lying, lazy bitch.
catriona_cd 0
ash, you wrote "maybe the mother was in the middle of something." the op clearly stated "Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school" Would that not suggest that she just didnt feel like helping her daughter? oh no it does not. It Clearly STATES that she just does NOT feel like helping.. That does not suggest she was busy it says she just didnt want to do it Some one else said the fml is about her being caught lying about where she was. yet we all see it as her justbeing lazy and self absorbed, as she indeed is. I bet some of the posters that defend her would rather see it in a different light if it was them.. ie. say you had a accident and needed a medic. they didnt turn up because they didnt feel like it.. I bet you would have the ***** then, wouldnt you..
mstairs1987 0
catriona_cd, you should probably fix your mistake here... "Would that not suggest that she just didnt feel like helping her daughter? oh no it does not. It Clearly STATES that she just does NOT feel like helping.. " just figured I would mention that...
Firesprite2009 0
Yes, but not having shoes is hardly life threatening conditions, unless the school was in a really shitty place, and I doubt that .
musicislife1995_fml 0
you are a selfish *****. you know exactly that's what everyone would think