Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text, saying, "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML
Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML
Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML
Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had left the house without her cell phone. I called her phone to let her know she forgot it. FML
Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML
Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
HuskyButt 0
"I lied, just because I am lazy, but I couldn't even do it right." Oh yeah, obviously your life is terrible.
babygraprefruit 0
Mother of the year of the year award goes to... (drum roll) ...Not you, you lazy bitch.
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Comments (212)
bcimsohardtosee 0
@sundayporch: it says woman you fool, it obviously isnt the father.
bcimsohardtosee 0
whats the parenting lesson? my mom is an ass and wont drive 15 for me to have shoes on my feet? truly inspiring
Emperor_Jim 0
I feel bad for your kid(s). Have fun when you're old, and they stick you in a nursing home first chance they get. I don't think anyone would blame 'em.
AmeOwl 0
"We are wrongfully assuming it's the mother" "Sounds like Dad" -- no hypocrisy here! And the OP is a woman. No one is assuming anything.
jts2 3
.. A. You're a moron. B. You wouldn't drive 15 minutes to help out your child?
Rabbity 0
"Today, my shoes broke. I had to walk around barefoot because my mom was too lazy to bring some to school. She also lied to them about being out of town. FML"
ColdGold 6
Now that's a FML!
chimpy91 0
How does a retard like you even have children?
FairLouisa 0
Some people really should get fixed...
mikuxxhatsune 32
Worse thing are great people that would be awesome parents but can't seem to conceive.
tazgrl 0
What the hell kind of parent are you?? You can't drive 15 minutes so your child can have shoes because you are just too lazy? You are a disgrace and the reason why not all people should be allowed to be parents.
Twinklestar 0
Half an hour or driving, not 15 minutes and next time her daughter will remember her gym gear in the morning instead of expecting mummy to drop everything in the middle of her day and run around after her.
BunnyDrastic 0
eeeeeeeershk! Kar krash stop sign u fail!
txgirl09 5
yes but we all forget things now and again. and we don't know why she needed the shoes. might not have been for a gym class something might have happened to her shoes or a million other things.