Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, I went to a drive through with my housemate. She got our order wrong and angrily yelled at the teenager who handed us our food, making her cry. My housemate can't fully speak English because of a learning disability, and she refuses to admit it. FML
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, as a waitress at Denny's, I had a 25 top table. Only 3 of them spoke English. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Apparently you can't understand English either. Did you have to use a translator for this FML?
SmokeyBear420 19
lol bad accent?
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Comments (84)
CrazyMelvin 14
Stupid!
brebabee793 13
Uh... That's pathetic. Even if they had an accent you should have been able to tell it was English
junkman6 22
Not really, some of the really bad accents make it extremely hard to tell. They carry over a lot of the same clipped pronunciations and emphasize the wrong syllables, it really does sound like a different language. Also if you've never heard an Afrikaner accent look that up.
Futacy 30
Irish-Gealic accents are the worst to understand for me. I often have no idea what language they're speaking, and just have to smile and nod. As for African accents, I typically can tell that they're speaking English; I just have no idea what they're saying.
nutellaforlyfe 3
Not really. This Chinese woman does my nails and I can never really understand what she says. Not mostly because of her accent, also that she talks quietly.
junkman6 22
#52 Afrikaner and African are two entirely different accents. We had a few African exchange students and I could understand them but a few South Africans I know that slip into that Afrikaner accent when they get angry are seriously speaking another language. Imagine creole with a German influence.
j_cat187 20
I can imagine op is at a Panda Express.
dachayke 16
Aka grease train.
randymontegut 5
Accent can confuse people. Confused me before.
TXFernwoods 26
This FML really confused me :/
littlem91 29
I'm trying to work it out, I think that OP thought the waitress was speaking Chinese, when she was actually speaking English. But that's not what everyone seems to think. Either the OP was unclear or it was edited and unintentionally made ambiguous.
CommentModerated 17
I thought it was perfectly clear.
MrBoredomioo 18
You've never heard Asians that turn something like "May I take your order" into "Mey ah tekk ohder"
worldclassrager 41
She had that thick of an acent?
dreishot 1
What type of English was she speaking? ... "chinenglish?"
Futacy 30
*Engrish/Chinglish
himwhomlaughs 14
i feel you OP, you just want to sink trough the ground when it happens :C
PipingMouse 14
Don't feel bad. Just apologize sincerely, and try to listen better.
Ihavegas 22
shitty wok