Why Me · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Indianapolis, United States

The poop delivery lady

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 497 You deserved it 2 863

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Anonymous · 9 January 2025, 15:00 ·Netherlands

Tennis

Today, I got home from school after having been in a fight. I looked to my father and asked him for advice; he said, "Go see your mother." I go to see my mother, and she says, "Go see your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 9 January 2025, 12:00 ·Puducherry, India

What is happening to me?

Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 154

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Anonymous · 9 January 2025, 09:00 ·Canada

Lazy sod

Today, I emailed my professor to explain why I hadn't turned in the assignment I've been procrastinating doing, claiming I was sick. I attached a picture of my "medicine" for proof. I accidentally sent him a photo of tequila shots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 You deserved it 932

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LemmyIsWet · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Bathtime

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 962 You deserved it 27 950

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Anonymous · 9 January 2025, 03:00 ·Garstang, United Kingdom

Is it so that strange?

Today, I realised something awful. I'm in two wonderful loving ethical non-monogamous relationships and I can and do occasionally enjoy a one-nighter or more outside of these. It hit me - I miss cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 1 053

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annie · 9 January 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Fussy

Today, my daughter refuses to make eye contact, won’t eat any of the food I make, and still throws tantrums in middle school. I have no idea where I went wrong raising the brat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351 You deserved it 343

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 22:00 ·Dallas, United States

Absolute beginner

Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 571

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

Life choices

Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 474

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Sylvania, United States

Slasher

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 367 You deserved it 6 039

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Cathy · 8 January 2025, 15:00 ·Boulder, United States

Fumbled the ball

Today, I sent a message to my crush saying, “Hey, how are you?” I immediately followed it up with another message that said, “Oops, wrong person,” because I panicked. Now he probably thinks I wasn’t even trying to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 641

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 12:00 ·United States

How to dismantle flat pack furniture

Today, I spent hours assembling a bookshelf I'd bought online. Once it was finally done, I realized I’d put the back panel on backwards, so now there’s a "Made in China" label facing the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163 You deserved it 444

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lilypanda333 · 8 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Is that even legal?

Today, I had a really good day out just to come home right before the electricity company closed for the day, to find out my payment hadn’t gone through and they'd turned it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 149

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tanksfan · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·India

Caught in 4K

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 489 You deserved it 42 557

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 03:00 ·United States

This has to stop

Today I got back to work after the holiday break to find out all my hard work on background illustrations for the company are progressively being replaced by piss-poor AI monstrosities. This sucks donkey dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625 You deserved it 97

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Today, I mistook my neighbor’s karaoke party for a heated argument and called the cops. When they arrived, everyone was in the middle of a dramatic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 628

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Awakened · 7 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

You little devil

Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363 You deserved it 197

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Awkward Nelson · 7 January 2025, 20:00 ·Sydney, Australia

Floundering off

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit from a party after an argument by dramatically throwing my coat over my shoulder and storming out. The coat got caught on the door handle, and I had to awkwardly untangle myself while everyone stared. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 604

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Noise annoys

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167 You deserved it 42 410

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Anonymous · 7 January 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Just corpsing

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 100

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Keith · 7 January 2025, 12:00 ·South Africa

Tender moment

Today, I was in the middle of a romantic dinner when I went to say something sweet, only to have rogue hiccups interrupt my sentence. It sounded like I was saying, "I love you... hic... forever... hic... and ever." The mood was ruined because she now thinks it means that I didn't mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 7 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Same

Today, I realized that I’m just living. Nothing I want matters. Just the same repetitive thing day after day. What must I do for things to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 186

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abbiexo97 · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

I'm a realist

Today, I had a dream that I had to abandon my shopping at the checkout due to lack of funds. Even in my dreams I don’t have any money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143 You deserved it 254

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anon · 7 January 2025, 03:00 ·United States

HELP!

Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405 You deserved it 158

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Emily · 7 January 2025, 00:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

What is going on here?

Today, I went to my BFF's 16th birthday party. As I arrived, a VERY cute (and familiar looking) boy said to me, "You look hot! Wanna kiss?" I've made out at parties before so I agreed. As we did, I recognized my pal as a slightly butch, if pretty, GIRL I know. Worst part - her kisses are better than my boyfriend's. Am I gay now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 802

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Kevin · 6 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

The price is right

Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 349

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Phil · 6 January 2025, 20:00 ·Canada

Life ain't a Disney movie

Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 You deserved it 878

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Cool kid

Today, I found out why everyone stares at my car when I turn a corner. My power steering squeals, and it sounds like a screaming child. I don't have enough money to fix it right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882 You deserved it 271

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Anonymous · 6 January 2025, 15:00 ·Hull, United Kingdom

Does not spark joy

Today, I was super proud of myself for organizing my entire wardrobe. As I went to admire my work, I pulled out a sweater and knocked over the entire shelf of shoes. Now everything's on the floor and I can’t find my favourite pair of socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 6 January 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Bad time for insurance denials

Today, my car broke down dead in the middle of the highway. As I was unable to get it out of the road, it was impounded, and my insurance won't help. Now I'm further in debt and struggling to get to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509 You deserved it 88

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