The Top

OP here! So, this was several years ago. Apparently his family didn't want want him to marry me and never wanted him to divorce his first wife. His father is the one who performed the wedding. He called me the wrong name several times during the ceremony. I don't know if he did it on purpose or not. Friends later tell me it wasn't just his mother that was laughing but many members of his family but I just couldn't hear them. H

By Pisciana unlucky - 29/04/2017 21:00 - Brazil - Niteroi

Today, as I was going to bed, I decided to read a book. Just as I touched the book, the bedroom light burned out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 605

You deserved it 434

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:22 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I walked in on my dog slurping my coffee. I'm not sure how long we have been sharing my morning cup of joe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 250

You deserved it 909

By Genuine D - 13/05/2017 08:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 511

You deserved it 454

By The Seamstress - 20/05/2017 11:00 - United States - Irving

Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 5 546

Dude, WTF is this?

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 20:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 2 024

Self-sabotage

By Anonymous - 15/11/2016 09:20

Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 882

You deserved it 12 916

By M - 20/09/2015 23:59 - United Kingdom - Clevedon

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 334

You deserved it 2 536

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 703

You deserved it 3 517

I did not see that coming

By Anonymous - 23/08/2015 16:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month-old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 038

You deserved it 13 774

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 323

You deserved it 8 152

By Anonymous - 05/09/2017 17:15 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, a teenage kid holding a cell phone ran up to me and kicked me as hard as he could in the groin. After I fell to the ground in pain, I realized he was liveblogging the event and asking people to subscribe to his YouTube channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 542

You deserved it 228

By leah_kascar - 22/08/2016 01:45 - United States - Hialeah

Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 029

You deserved it 2 395

By Happy for her... - 27/09/2017 18:07

Today, I arrived at work unusually happy after having shared a wonderful date and first kiss last night with the colleague I've been in love with for months. Today is also the day she received an offer for the job of her dreams across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 313

Lucius0121 tells us more.

Lucius0121 4

Wednesday 27 September 2017 9:45

Hi, OP here, with an update. She took the job obviously, she will be gone by the end of octobre. I won't be following, our relationship is much, much too young for that kind of move, even though I do love her... The silver lining is that we decided to enjoy it until then, I try not to think about "then" too much...