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Convert

By funkyhed84 - 31/05/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I answered the door to two Mormon girls from America. I live in the UK and am not religious at all, but I was too polite to slam the door and ended up letting them in. An hour later, a copy of 'The Book of Mormon' and 'My Pathway to Baptism' and I think I'm now a Mormon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 1 629

By anonymous - 14/10/2016 03:46 - United States - Manchester

Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 859

You deserved it 1 294

By JAMjessie - 20/09/2016 16:54 - United States

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 409

You deserved it 881

By Phonessed - 09/11/2017 08:00 - Australia - Balwyn

Today, I was strolling along a sidewalk when I noticed that my shoelace was untied. As I knelt down to tie it, my brand new $1,000 phone fell out of my pocket and into a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 2 948

Road rage

By notapetkiller - 26/07/2016 06:12 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 022

You deserved it 1 638

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 17:19 - United States - Washington

Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 810

You deserved it 1 867

By neednewshoes - 07/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 445

You deserved it 5 026

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 03:00

Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 3 522

They tried to make me go to rehab…

By anon - 30/06/2016 17:33 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 948

You deserved it 713

Sorry sweaty

By smellychick - 14/03/2018 11:00 - United States - Hesperia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for being a "cheating whore" when he found men’s deodorant in my bathroom cabinet. I just have abnormally strong B.O. and men’s deodorant works better for me. According to him, "No girl sweats that much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 364

You deserved it 325

By 1sasafras1 - 17/06/2016 04:01 - United States - Jonesborough

Today, while I was lifeguarding a swim meet with over 100 patrons, a duck paid a visit to our pool. He sat down and a brown cloud surfaced in the water. He immediately flew off. My manager then made me put goggles on and scoop out the poop while everyone watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 699

You deserved it 914

1sasafras1 tells us more.

1sasafras1 9

Friday 17 June 2016 21:39

Yup. Just the skimmer net under water. The location made us unable to use the pole with the skimmer attached

Got likes on the mind

By Yeahyeahyeah - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, while at a family gathering, my teenage sister-in-law felt the need to loudly point out, several times, that her selfie got more 'likes' than my pregnancy announcement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 979

* facepalm *

By Sucker - 01/07/2018 01:30

Today, five hours into my shift, I found out that I had been given the day off. They just forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 121

You deserved it 345

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 938

You deserved it 382

By despacito - 28/08/2018 23:30

Today, my brother stole my hard drive and wiped it. My hard drive had a 10-page school project on it. The project is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 399

You deserved it 261

Thanks Dad

By Anonymous - 07/09/2018 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my father told all of us that he eloped with his girlfriend of two months. I'm engaged to the woman's daughter, and have been engaged since before they met, but now my family is making fun of me for marrying my "sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 650

You deserved it 230

Fun times

By workhoe - 20/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 037

You deserved it 1 774

By Anonymous - 12/04/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old niece brushed my hair, making sure to be gentle so she wouldn't hurt me. When it was time to brush the front, she made sure to meticulously brush my mustache. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 333

You deserved it 1 054

One day, maybe…

By PairOfSocks - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Finland - Tampere

Today, one of my friends bought a wedding dress for her upcoming wedding. My other friend intends to propose to her boyfriend, and ordered rings. I too made a purchase: a pair of socks for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 438

You deserved it 1 398

It's called lepidopterophobia and it's no joke!

By FML Approved - 29/07/2017 18:30

If you ever come to a point in your life where you begin to think your fear of spiders is ridiculous, remember there are people out there who are afraid of butterflies.

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 223

By Nicky13Na - 12/09/2017 23:15

Today, I hit the six-year mark for daily vomiting. All the doctor can say is that it's psychological. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 201

You deserved it 312

By BroadwayBaby1997 - 17/09/2016 15:26 - United States - Mission

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 427

You deserved it 2 604

By abygalee - 10/07/2016 20:42 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 030

You deserved it 723

By AverageAvarice - 07/07/2016 20:09 - United States

Today, after 22 hours running around the hospital, I found some time to sit still and have a sandwich. My attending physician walked by and commented that I must not have enough work to do. The same person who 12 hours ago said finding time to eat was a skill, since I was eating on the go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 675

You deserved it 652

AverageAvarice tells us more.

AverageAvarice 23

Sunday 10 July 2016 1:17

Hey this is OP, I know a lot of people are not familiar with the hours residents must work. I work an 80 hour week. 12-24 hour shifts 4-5 days a week. I must take a break every 16 hours but it's usually every 12. I have a locker with blankets, clothes etc. I sleep in the doctor's lounge and shower in the locker room. I'm on 24 hour call for the ER this month and since anything can happen at anytime I'm constantly being called for something while on break (when ever I'm eating). It's really not bad once you get used to it, I can sometimes squeeze in a couple hours of sleep at the end of a twelve hour period, do some studying then clock back in. Adrenaline wakes me up in serious situations. My attending physician is a nice person but really brutal with their assigned work-load. I must work long hours so I can observe the full conditions of the patients assigned to me.

By mybackhurts - 04/02/2018 15:00

Today, my doctor ordered me an EKG to help my health anxiety. I have panic attacks and feel like my heart is out of rhythm, but my doctors have all told me it’s just in my head. I got the test results. I meet with the cardiologist next week to discuss surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 949

You deserved it 298

By Anonymous - 09/02/2018 14:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I started a part-time job at a nursery. One of the kids asked me if I was single, so I explained to her that I am with another woman. My boss fired me on the spot for "acting inappropriately". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 488

You deserved it 1 291

By toilet on the clock - 08/06/2016 10:40 - China - Guangzhou

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 791

You deserved it 1 276

Slight hiccup

By really - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Ottawa

Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 957

You deserved it 1 101

Feeling included

By ~~~~ - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Belgium - Hemiksem

Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 631

You deserved it 6 438

By Anonymous - 06/05/2018 07:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my twin sons have decided to forego the toilet, and instead poop in random places around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 766

You deserved it 443

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, the new cute guy at work friended me, but when he saw all my posts about how I’m going to Australia in a week for a 2-year work study, he posted a sarcastic comment, then unfriended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 175

Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 435

You deserved it 246

Today, I found out I can’t get in-state tuition at my college, all because I’m under 24 and considered a "dependent" student; therefore my parents must prove state residency on my behalf. I lost both my parents to COVID last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 100

Today, I woke up to a bunch of missed calls from a number I didn't know. I had called an Uber in my sleep. They charged a cancellation fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 162

You deserved it 1 140

Today, I mockingly made "President Trump" jokes all day to my friends, knowing Clinton was bound to win the election. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 207

You deserved it 9 041

Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 653

You deserved it 5 464