Nearly FMLs

By cleanup - 17/01/2016 16:50 - United States - Richmond

Today, I went to a movie where these inconsiderate girls left a shit ton of trash behind. after cleaning my own I decided to clean theirs. A manager walked in, thought it was mine and bitched me out for 20 minutes about cleaning up after myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By fuck you - 17/01/2016 16:41 - United States - Southgate

Today, my ex-girlfriend that cheated on me told her marine father that I cheated on her, I never did and now I have a broken arm and cracked ribs.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By papadoman - 17/01/2016 16:35 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was watching an online movie and one of these porn pop up ads appeared. My mother was coming so I had little time to close the window. I made it in time and pressed the X but instead of closing the tab, a message saying 'Are you sure u want to leave' appeared with the page still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By UNT Anony-mouse - 17/01/2016 16:30 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I realized the walls in my apartment are so thin, my upstairs neighbor sneezed, I said bless you, and they said thanks back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By ALittleFreak - 17/01/2016 16:27 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my fiancé told me he was over joyed that a lady distracted me during our dinner. Why? Because we were sharing a plate of fries and he was able to eat them all while I talked with the woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Great.... - 17/01/2016 16:21

Today, I found out my brother believes in the whole "humans lived with dinosaurs" stuff. He's 25 and he keeps trying to convince me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 16:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at work, my boss handed me a check. Zoned out and thinking it was my weeks overdue paycheck, I said I'd go put it in my purse. It was a huge check for the wedding cake he just delivered. I was so confused by the situation still that he had to put it in the register for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 16:09 - United States

A few days ago, I was sitting in the bathroom stall. Another person had come in at about the same time as me. It wasn't long until I heard fapping and heavy breathing. And there I was, to hear the entire thing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 15:58 - Canada

My parents recently told me that I need start paying for all my own clothes, gas, toiletries etc. This would be perfectly fine if they didn't complain every single time I go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By gotta get new friends - 17/01/2016 15:52 - United States - Dedham

Today, I tried to plan my birthday party for next Saturday. When I asked my best friends only two of them were free. When I tried to plan it a few weeks ago they said it was too early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By eir_bear - 17/01/2016 15:47 - Ireland - Galway

Today, I had a tummy bug even though I had been up all night I still went to work. All was going fine until I had to decide which end needed the toilet first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Schatzi94 - 17/01/2016 15:40 - United States - Beaufort

Today, I woke up with the runs after consuming copious amounts of beer and hot wings. After settling my stomach I realized I had left the wings in the floor and my dog ate what was left. Now I'm stuck on the toilet while she has the runs too. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By thirdman3 - 17/01/2016 15:23 - United States - Marietta

Today, I woke up from a good nights sleep and decided to start doing some chores round the house, like vacuuming, and laundry. Once my parents woke up they disregarded all that I did and called me a "slacker", then proceeded to give me more chores because "I haven't been pulling my own weight". FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By amitooblack - 17/01/2016 14:24 - Lao People's Democratic Republic - Vientiane

Today, a racist, bigoted paraplegic told me he was gonna beat the shit the of me simply because I was black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Aeroboss - 17/01/2016 14:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents made me miss a 2 - hour flight for an important tennis tournament, all because they decided bitching me out over what milk I chose to drink was appropriate. Apparently, 1% milk was spawned from Satan's tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By liveloveadopt - 17/01/2016 14:10 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my dog puked up a sock. So I waited awile before feeding him but he ate too fast and puked that up as well. It's okay though, cuz he ate all the puked up dog food afterwards before I had a chance to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By ImaginaryFuture - 17/01/2016 14:06 - United States - Bradenton

Today, my girlfriend stumbled in our apartment at 2 AM, covered in hickies and such. Her excuse? apparently she was jumped in an alley way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By anon - 17/01/2016 13:59 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went whale watching with my family. It was going great until my brother thought it would be a good idea to push me over the rail. I held on, but he tossed my bag in the ocean. His response? "It's just a prank bro haha!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 13:46 - Canada - Fenwick

Today, I found out who spread the rumor that I was sleeping with a man old enough to be my father. It was the older guy I was rumored to be sleeping with. He was the one that told me that about the rumor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By angryandsad - 17/01/2016 13:38 - Australia

Today, my motorbike was trashed in the basement carpark. No cctv either and you need a key to get in, so someone in the apartment block has fucked it up and I can't trust anyone till I find out who. So much for a safe parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By notfat - 17/01/2016 13:07 - Germany

Today, I was out, eating a larger meal by myself when I noticed two girls that looked like they were going to high school sitting across. They were making movements that mimicked me eating like Pac-Man. I go to college, and by no means fat. I lost my appetite and left, still hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By lucythomson - 17/01/2016 12:35 - United Kingdom - Grays

Today, I got a very loud and painful case of the hiccups. This wouldn't have been to bad if they hadn't have started right in the middle of an important exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Soninuva - 17/01/2016 11:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my asthma flared up because my parents (wrongly) think they know about medicine and the body than I do. I have a degree in Biology, whereas my father has one in music education, and my mother has none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By potatomus62 - 17/01/2016 10:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, for the first time in 3 years it snowed properly where I live. I can't even begin to get excited as I am stuck by the toilet with flu and can't eat without throwing up.FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 10:51 - Indonesia - Denpasar

Today, whilst being halfway through my enjoyable trip to Bali, we were informed by the people looking after our dog that he had passed away, I didn't get to say goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By UberAwesone - 17/01/2016 10:39 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she had a busy schedule. Today, was also the day I found out she has a date with one of her guy friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By I have to return some videotapes - 17/01/2016 10:29 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my mother finally agreed to let me return an extremely expensive gift I got her 3 years ago that she's never taken out of the box, in return for something more useful. When I got to the store, I found out the company has gone out of business. She still won't use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By NeonConduit - 17/01/2016 10:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after having an exterminator come to my apartment two times this month to spray and get rid of roaches that I was told "would be gone for sure", I woke up and found four hanging out in my bathroom and two in my kitchen. The exterminator won't come back til next month. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By spicybasement - 17/01/2016 09:51 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my husband won't quit staying up all night to play video games so he sleeps all day long and does nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By moosemay - 17/01/2016 09:17 - Germany - Dittelbrunn

Today, my two-year-old got a Paddington Bear for her birthday. She can't pronounce its name properly and has been calling it either Petting Bear or Pedo Bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after my ex broke up with me, I threw out all the clothes he’d bought me before, which was basically my entire wardrobe. Anyway, this creepy guy who lives a few blocks away seems to be wearing my old clothes and waves my bras and panties at me. It’s gross and creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 1 307

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 588

You deserved it 4 977

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 168

You deserved it 28 490

Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 097

You deserved it 4 212

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tapeworms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 997

You deserved it 3 159

Today, my 4 year-old son got a hole in his head from doing a twirl jump off bricks out the back. After being in hospital for 8 hours, my car battery was flat from me leaving the lights on. My husband went to get a new battery and lost his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 141