Sex, Embarrassing, Gross, Awkward Intimacy Quick thinking

Quick thinking

rolyat - 01/05/2012 16:41 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

You coming?

snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

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shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

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Peaked

herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

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We all do it. Don't we?

Anonymous - 30/08/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

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Rash beard

Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

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Freaked out

Anonymous - 16/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

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goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

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WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

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Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

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Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

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richy90255 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 0:32

Next time if there if is a next time

Keyganator 5

Wednesday 2 May 2012 0:34

Hey, they don't call it fun sized for nothing! ; )

CursedSilent 1

Wednesday 2 May 2012 6:28

Not sure how referencing a previous fml makes her look bad but the fact you know her age says you were creeping on her profile. Doesn't exactly say good things about you ;), just sayin

coldashell 23

Wednesday 2 May 2012 6:31

Y'all always pick on that girl. Doesn't matter what she says, she always gets shit from y'all. She commented on the damn post and y'all should leave it at that. Y'all don't need to reply to her. Seems y'all just want to argue.

starman02 12

Wednesday 2 May 2012 6:39

IMO shaved is the way to go .. Or at least trimmed.. If not it's like a jungle :-/ haha!

seth_harris 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 6:42

They have surgery for that kind of thing...(;

NoisyNykkii 10

Wednesday 2 May 2012 6:48

Ik how you feel Kayla. I say one thing, and everyone comments on my age. I DIDN'T SEE THE DAMNED AGE LABEL ON JOKES!

Ilovemaddy2011 3

Wednesday 2 May 2012 7:03

Bud, I'm sorry to hear this... But honestly if she can't take your penis size seriously I'd dump her. Later on in the relationship sex becomes a very important factor. Just sayin.