Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML I agree, your life sucks 15128 I agree, your life sucks 15128 You deserved it 36000 You deserved it 36000 201 19 3 36 140 By Dockin - / Thursday 14 February 2019 15:37 / India
Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year old sister who was sending him nude pictures. FML I agree, your life sucks 4681 I agree, your life sucks 4681 Phew, glad it wasn't me 791 Phew, glad it wasn't me 791 49 50 13 519 93 By Anonymous - / Thursday 27 December 2018 04:00 /
Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML I agree, your life sucks 3090 I agree, your life sucks 3090 You deserved it 321 You deserved it 321 13 29 3 225 45 By Unlucky - / Wednesday 19 December 2018 02:00 / United Kingdom - Bagworth
Today I was messaging memes back and forth with one of my female coworkers and I accidentally sent a junk pic'. FML I agree, your life sucks 1004 I agree, your life sucks 1004 You deserved it 4211 You deserved it 4211 40 56 7 59 273 By Varnpike - / Tuesday 18 December 2018 03:00 /
Today was the first time my husband came since getting a vasectomy. Not a big deal except he did not tell me that it’s common for men to pass out the first time they cum after the surgery. I thought my husband died from cumming for a solid minute. FML I agree, your life sucks 2973 I agree, your life sucks 2973 You deserved it 266 You deserved it 266 20 15 8 78 545 By Bro - / Monday 17 December 2018 22:00 / Japan
Today I realized my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me... FML I agree, your life sucks 2142 I agree, your life sucks 2142 You deserved it 306 You deserved it 306 19 28 3 37 234 By Helseac - / Monday 17 December 2018 03:00 /
Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML I agree, your life sucks 2702 I agree, your life sucks 2702 You deserved it 248 You deserved it 248 19 42 5 212 55 By Sad_Happy_Gorl - / Saturday 15 December 2018 23:00 / United States - University Center
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2076 I agree, your life sucks 2076 You deserved it 1483 You deserved it 1483 19 33 6 45 334 By Anonymous - / Friday 14 December 2018 14:00 /
Today, I’m almost six weeks pregnant. From exactly ten seconds of penetration. FML I agree, your life sucks 3211 I agree, your life sucks 3211 You deserved it 942 You deserved it 942 26 56 5 93 327 By Anonymous - / Thursday 13 December 2018 15:30 /
Today I got back to my hotel at the same time as my supervisor and realized we had rooms right next to each other. I thought it was funny and said bye to him...only to remember that I had slept with HIS boss last night. We were not quiet. FML I agree, your life sucks 1220 I agree, your life sucks 1220 You deserved it 2950 You deserved it 2950 30 39 5 35 272 By - / Thursday 13 December 2018 03:00 /
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML I agree, your life sucks 3011 I agree, your life sucks 3011 You deserved it 325 You deserved it 325 21 46 7 66 286 By Mia - / Wednesday 12 December 2018 17:00 / India - Mumbai
Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 2350 I agree, your life sucks 2350 You deserved it 1068 You deserved it 1068 18 22 5 178 75 By "Lisa" - / Tuesday 11 December 2018 04:00 / Romania
Today my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom to check if I was cheating...... I wasn't. He was looking for some leverage so when he told me he's been fucking my bestfriend for the last year, he could use something against me... FML I agree, your life sucks 3440 I agree, your life sucks 3440 You deserved it 189 You deserved it 189 19 40 5 332 41 By Ms.rain - / Friday 7 December 2018 12:30 /
Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1114 I agree, your life sucks 1114 You deserved it 4718 You deserved it 4718 44 83 11 75 486 By Embarrassed - / Thursday 6 December 2018 03:00 /
Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML I agree, your life sucks 2966 I agree, your life sucks 2966 You deserved it 316 You deserved it 316 17 20 3 276 93 By - / Wednesday 5 December 2018 21:00 / United Kingdom
Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him... FML I agree, your life sucks 2928 I agree, your life sucks 2928 You deserved it 255 You deserved it 255 27 49 3 186 37 By - / Tuesday 4 December 2018 15:00 / United States - Saint Joseph
Today at 30 years old, my wife asked why I'm circumcised when my parents aren't religious. I didn't know I was circumcised. FML I agree, your life sucks 2557 I agree, your life sucks 2557 You deserved it 985 You deserved it 985 27 60 8 44 302 By JWags - / Tuesday 4 December 2018 05:00 /
Today, it's my birthday. My husband hasn't slept with me in months. I am so humiliated every time I try to be intimate with him because I am only ever turned down. Tonight, he rubbed my leg and got mad when I fixed myself so I wouldn't be turned on. Apparently tonight was the night but I moved and ruined it. FML I agree, your life sucks 3322 I agree, your life sucks 3322 You deserved it 378 You deserved it 378 38 75 4 231 53 By Anonymous - / Monday 3 December 2018 16:00 / United States - Great Barrington
Today, I jacked off in the shower using soap with scrubbing beads in it. My penis is so chaffed, it hurts to put on pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 1037 I agree, your life sucks 1037 You deserved it 5588 You deserved it 5588 27 32 10 44 496 By Jackmeister - / Saturday 3 November 2018 03:00 /
Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming her, because the camera was moving and definitely not on a tripod. I know I never recorded a video of her. FML I agree, your life sucks 4751 I agree, your life sucks 4751 You deserved it 329 You deserved it 329 49 65 13 457 124 By Anonymous - / Monday 15 October 2018 03:00 /
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML I agree, your life sucks 4056 I agree, your life sucks 4056 You deserved it 368 You deserved it 368 36 42 4 417 65 By Anonymous - / Saturday 6 October 2018 21:00 / United States - Tallahassee
Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML I agree, your life sucks 5869 I agree, your life sucks 5869 You deserved it 361 You deserved it 361 45 68 23 749 62 By Anonymous - / Thursday 4 October 2018 03:00 /
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML I agree, your life sucks 3261 I agree, your life sucks 3261 You deserved it 523 You deserved it 523 28 27 5 302 69 By moerae - / Wednesday 3 October 2018 03:00 /
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML I agree, your life sucks 2094 I agree, your life sucks 2094 You deserved it 6354 You deserved it 6354 69 73 36 72 593 By ToysforHire - / Saturday 22 September 2018 03:00 /
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 5056 I agree, your life sucks 5056 You deserved it 739 You deserved it 739 56 47 12 662 95 By Anonymous - / Thursday 20 September 2018 03:00 /
Today, one of my residents was having super loud sex. I'm an RA in a college freshman dorm, and I had to knock on her door and tell her to quiet down. I hate to be a cock-block, but she woke multiple people up, myself included. I live 4 doors down the hall from her. FML I agree, your life sucks 3190 I agree, your life sucks 3190 You deserved it 347 You deserved it 347 24 29 10 58 305 By awkwardRA - / Wednesday 19 September 2018 03:30 /
W.T.F. Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 5103 I agree, your life sucks 5103 You deserved it 483 You deserved it 483 41 67 9 648 116 By Anonymous - / Saturday 15 September 2018 06:00 /
Today, I'm on new medication that has a side effect of keeping me awake all night. Now I get to listen to my parents having sex at 2am when they think I'm fast asleep. FYI, my dad likes being spanked and being told that he's a really bad boy who needs punishment. FML I agree, your life sucks 4419 I agree, your life sucks 4419 You deserved it 336 You deserved it 336 10 31 9 110 641 By Anonymous - / Wednesday 29 August 2018 06:00 /
Today, I found out just how close my boyfriend has been getting to our new neighbour's teenage son. I came home from work to find them on my bed and my "straight" boyfriend head down ass up. FML I agree, your life sucks 4364 I agree, your life sucks 4364 You deserved it 329 You deserved it 329 30 54 19 495 152 By Cantunsee - / Sunday 26 August 2018 06:00 /
Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 3865 I agree, your life sucks 3865 You deserved it 761 You deserved it 761 28 31 11 513 218 By Redhead - / Wednesday 22 August 2018 06:00 /
Today after literally 1000s of texts, hours of chats and banter, my co-worker and i admitted that we love each other but can’t leave our own partners for... I agree, your life sucks 425 I agree, your life sucks 425 You deserved it 1121 You deserved it 1121 24
Today is day 28 since a corrective surgery on my urethra. During my recovery I made my wife cum twice while my catheter made erections excruciating. She... I agree, your life sucks 1213 I agree, your life sucks 1213 You deserved it 146 You deserved it 146 13
Canada Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...
Australia Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...
Today, I got on the bus and the driver said I didn't have to pay since the ticket machine was broken. I was happy to have saved £2.40 until i realised...
Today, my infant son refused to let me put him down for two minutes while I ate breakfast this morning. I was in a hurry to get to an event as it was,...
Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it...
Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we... I agree, your life sucks 15128 I agree, your life sucks 15128 You deserved it 36000 You deserved it 36000 201
Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year... I agree, your life sucks 4681 I agree, your life sucks 4681 Phew, glad it wasn't me 791 Phew, glad it wasn't me 791 49