Sex, Embarrassing, Gross, Awkward Intimacy Quick thinking

Quick thinking

rolyat - 01/05/2012 16:41 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

36 774

4 013

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

You coming?

snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

76 833

8 873

shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

22 712

9 544

Peaked

herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

92 143

11 641

We all do it. Don't we?

Anonymous - 30/08/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

45 088

13 772

Rash beard

Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

1 828

451

Freaked out

Anonymous - 16/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

2 179

274

goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

7 691

1 133

WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

11 208

21 883

Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

30 252

3 780

Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

52 593

8 082

richy90255 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 0:32

Next time if there if is a next time

Keyganator 5

Wednesday 2 May 2012 0:34

Hey, they don't call it fun sized for nothing! ; )

TColby 12

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:31

Let her say what she wants, there's no reason for you to be concerned about what others think of her. Unless you know her and care about her.

Fmldave24 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:31

you probably have a small penis...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:51

You don't say!

Jessj958 19

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:41

Well that was pretty rude! Not to mention immature. A guy doesn't have to be huge to please a girl, so don't think FML think FHL for missing out what could have been an amazing time! :)

TarieBoo 2

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:41

her allergies wont be clearing up bro

Roo79 1

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:55

Should have gone down on her FIRST! HAHAHA! If you known what you're doing ..rash / small bits/too much or little turf...makes no diff ,she'll be ready to go!