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Hi everyone, OP here ! Made an account just to follow up. 1) No, sadly he didn't suspect a thing and didn't bother taking a close look at his earphones. 2) It was awkward indeed. Very, very awkward. He was nice though, he apologised and immediately left. Hopefully he'll check his earphones next time. And thank you for commenting on my username haha !

By ohmydog - 05/09/2010 08:14 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 3 655

By Liz - 11/08/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 2 636

Turn off

By seriously - 02/10/2010 20:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 4 455

By Screwed in Seattle - 05/02/2011 16:13 - United States

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 5 483

Communication breakdown

By Austin - 12/02/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 950

You deserved it 3 802

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 949

You deserved it 2 688

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 949

You deserved it 2 305

By Becoming a commuter. - 04/09/2012 17:14 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 949

You deserved it 2 118

By Noname - 08/02/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 948

You deserved it 2 170

By anonymous - 07/03/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is getting engaged. He broke up with me five months ago because our relationship was too serious for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 948

You deserved it 2 779

By nopethanks - 31/10/2014 12:05 - United States - Eden Prairie

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 947

You deserved it 2 775

By pinkjade - 25/10/2011 07:17 - Canada

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 3 550

Drink up

By ugh!! - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I felt I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 228 585

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 4 628

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 09:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 5 752

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 939

You deserved it 3 220

By Anonymous - 21/11/2014 00:43 - United States

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 939

You deserved it 10 906

By fordneagles - 11/06/2012 05:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

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You deserved it 2 318

fordneagles tells us more.

fordneagles 34

Monday 11 June 2012 15:40

Hey guys, I'm the OP, for those worried about the grossness of the floor, the cleaners had just been in (the wet floor sign was still there), so I just took off the other sandal and looked a bit of a bogan, but better than replacing everything in my wallet! And for the record, my bag was not on the floor, it was resting on my (previously sandalled) feet. I've never noticed any hooks in the stalls, but then I've never expected someone to try and nick my bag either.

By santashelper - 05/12/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 937

You deserved it 4 765