The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Stiff

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 15:00

Today, I went to get checked out for my hip pain that hasn't worsened but isn't going away. When I practiced the stretches the physical therapist wanted me to do, it didn't hurt at all. When I did them much later by myself, it hurt like hell. I described my worst pain at the time as a 4. The pain now is a 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 79

Three days?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 15:00

Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 109

I’ve lost enough IQ points that I think IQ is real

By My friend is not Einstein - 14/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was talking with a friend and somehow the topic of Albert Einstein popped up. He started referring to Einstein as American and I laughed. I then realized he was serious. My IQ has dropped even further from Einstein's as a result of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 198

Can't feel my tongue

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 17:01

Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 1 142

One-upped

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 95

Dirty business

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 09:00 - Canada - Saint John

Today, while picking up dirty laundry I bolted up so fast that I broke my elbow. I sat in Urgent Care for 4 hours to be put in a sling at the same hospital I work at. I’m now stuck in a sling for who knows how long and it’s all because the towel rack impact was so hard it broke my elbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 100

Not again

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 16:00

Today, I was concerned I hadn’t restarted my periods yet after the birth of our first child. Turns out it’s because I’m pregnant again already. We must have gotten pregnant off the very first egg I released after giving birth. Our first baby is only 3 months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 756

Grunt work

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, my coworkers wouldn't help cover the front desk and help answer phones at work. They had agreed to do this with our three bosses in the room, after having a discussion about it and coming to an agreement to do this in two hour shifts. They are both older than me and have less work to do than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 66

Phones are bad for you

By Katie - 14/05/2024 20:00 - United States - Basehor

Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 181

Dumdum moment

By Shawn Kotris - 25/04/2021 21:30

Today, after my car died a mile from my house, I huffed, puffed and pushed it back to my house off the street, so I wouldn't get a ticket overnight. After getting it towed to the shop in the morning, I got a call telling me they put gas in it for me and it starts up fine now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 2 244

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 131

My smol bean baby

By Heather05 - 11/11/2025 15:00

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and politely asked if I could keep my “crying baby” quiet at night. I live alone. I don’t even have a baby. I have a cat. A very dramatic, needy, attention-hungry cat who yelps when I close any door or leave her eyesight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 141

What is this?

By Not my dog - 23/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I paid extra for priority shipping because I desperately needed my package before the weekend. It arrived on time. It was the wrong package. I'm now the proud owner of a dog raincoat. As in a raincoat for dogs. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 75

A blind date in 2025 is brave

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 281

Overly polite in public

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 135

You're a natural

By Blackout at The Gym - 27/11/2020 20:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had a great leg workout at the gym. Instead of doing my cool down exercise at the end, I decided I wanted to do something more adventurous, like box jumps on one of those metal stools at the gym. Well, it turns out my body wasn’t ready for that. Now my shin is busted and swollen. This is my second week training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 1 090

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 06:00

Today, I took a day off to read a book, but ended up with a headache from staring at a screen all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 661

A cat called Bruce

By Dave - 24/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 226

Short-lived

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 690

Don't harsh our buzz, filthy human

By Ubehage - 06/01/2023 03:00 - Denmark

Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 1 128

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 30/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent practically an hour practicing my acceptance speech in front of the mirror after being nominated for "Employee of the Month." It turns out that they were just reading the names alphabetically, and I wasn’t even in the top five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 216

Spice up your sound

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 18:00

Today, I was at lunch in a Mexican place and my earbud started to slip from my ear. No big deal, I moved my hand to catch it. Catch it in the open tortilla I just spread guacamole and sour cream on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 749

What did she do now?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 15:00

Today, I found out that my husband, who I've just separated from, and my mother, who I don't speak to because she's crazy, have been bitching about me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 131

Boob inspector

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband's latest attempt to torture me was to point out that in every animated kids film like Encanto, Moana, and so on, that somewhere behind Disney's walls is an animator who has to animate the characters boobs and how they bounce when the characters walk. I can’t unsee it; so many films. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 220

Boredom

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 12:00

Today, I'm still unemployed after almost a year because my last job couldn't transfer me when my wife and I had to move due to her job. I can't even find something like grocery store or fast food. Seriously beginning to resent her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 199

That's not my name

By Not Jennifer - 30/09/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 208

Straight into my veins

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 135

When you gotta go…

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 175

Extreme dieting

By Kaemeleon - 21/05/2025 22:00 - Hong Kong - Tai Wai

Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 212

Pet lover

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 13:39

Today, my socks are labeled "100% wool". If you looked at them, though, you'd have to admit that the correct label, after being used for months, would have to read something like, "50% wool, 30% dog hair, 20% cat hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 672

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The Top

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 057

You deserved it 80 715

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 217

You deserved it 5 222

Random

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 8 763

Today, I accidentally left the tag on the new pants that I wore to work. Nobody had brought it to my attention for the whole day until finally, before I was about to go home, every single employee and my boss let me know by yelling in unison and laughing as I left the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 782

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 671

You deserved it 9 049

Today, I saw a YouTube video of the cutest, sweetest old dog. When I checked the channel for more videos of this dog, I discovered that he died last month. Day ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 257

Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 804

Today, while I was working, my friend stopped by and visited with me a moment. After she left, my client asked me if she was my daughter. My friend is 32 and I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 84