The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

A blessing and a curse

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 06:00

Today, I realized nobody has ever asked me for nudes, slid into my DMs, sent me anything lewd, or commented on any of my photos. I guess I'm that unattractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 441

By Anonyme - 24/07/2010 15:09 - Israel

Today, I picked up my six-year-old son after the karate class I’d signed him up for the holidays. As he got out, I could see he was disappointed so I asked him what was wrong. “It’s lame, we’re not even going to learn how to make fireballs.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 76

Catflap time

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 17:01 - Germany

Today, our cat doesn’t care much whether she gets into my room or not. Except at about 3 a.m. each night. That’s the time she sits outside the door, meowing to be let in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 155

Student life is rough

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 00:02

Today, I've been feeling like my efforts are never enough. I had 4 exams in one goddamn week, didn't sleep at all for 3 days studying, only to get completely demolished. The teachers put the most complicated problems as if they WANT us to fail. If I fail one class, I'm getting kicked out of my program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 320

My old buddy

By Rian - 12/08/2023 14:00

Today, I climbed into my junky old car and was pleasantly surprised that the AC came on. I patted the dash and said, "Thanks, buddy." Ten minutes later, as I was tearing down the highway, the engine threw a rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 112

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 03:00

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door and had to be rescued by the fire department after about 30 minutes of walking in circles with no open exit. At least they got a good laugh out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 231

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 113

Cards on the table

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 22:00

Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 284

We need to see the video!

By Lightweight - 08/03/2021 20:02

Today, I found out that while some people make out with others when drunk, I apparently sing a weird mash up between "Bad Romance" and Terry Pratchett’s Hedgehog song. My friends recorded it and posted it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 370

Artful dodger

By Anonymous - 13/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my chemotherapy has knocked me so I couldn’t even climb stairs at the train station. Another passenger helped me to the top, which I was so grateful for until I realised he was a pickpocket. On one staircase he got away with my wallet, phone, earphones, and gold bracelet FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 88

I was right there

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 12:00

Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 342

By Emerics - 31/05/2014 07:00 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes back on quickly because someone was coming upstairs. It was my sister, who opened the door and said, “It smells like salami in here! Can I have some?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 105

Happy New Year 2024!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2024 00:01 - United States

Today, I hate fucking existing. I could literally die right now and know one would ever even check on me for months. I’ve literally gone 4 months with no work, locked in my house the whole time, and never received a text, phone call, or a knock at the door. Not a single person thought about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 327

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 478

Not helping

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, an interviewer rang me back, but not to offer me the job. It was to warn me that if my psychotic mother rang him at his home address again trying to bribe and threaten him into giving me the job, then he would call the police and press charges for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 85

Luck of the draw

By Jordan - 12/11/2020 11:02 - United States - Herndon

Today, I waited 3 hours and paid $360 to have a routine tuneup done on my old car. As I pulled into my driveway, about to turn off the engine, one of my headlights blew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 74

Itchy butt

By peachezthelette - 27/12/2020 19:58

Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 117

Spillage

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 06:00

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 156

EMERGENCY

By I Was Going to Quit Anyway - 15/11/2023 14:00 - British Virgin Islands

Today, my boss called me to say that I'm fired because I was "deliberately ignoring" the messages from a head of another department who wanted to contact me regarding some "urgent" (not really) project. I was on "Do not disturb" because it's my vacation, and this SOB is not even my boss anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 101

I wanna be oppressed so bad

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 16:00 - United States - West Hartford

Today, my stepfather decided he was no longer part of our family, and refused to come to family dinner, all because we're all women, and he isn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 109

My life story

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 02:00

Today, I invited a friend that I hadn't seen a few years to a baseball game because I knew they're big baseball fans. They ended up trauma dumping on me for two hours.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 191

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

By yard sale 911 - 01/06/2023 15:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, our community is having a large collective yard sale. It's also the day my phone decided to somehow pocket-dial 911. I had to explain this to the officers responding and also to a lot of surprised shoppers and neighbors. I'm still extremely embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 159

Chewed up and spat out

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 22:00

Today, I retired after 38 years. I went in expecting a proper goodbye, tears, and handshakes. I got none of that; they had me work like normal, then escorted me out after my shift because legally they had to make sure I’d definitely left the building. Not even a retirement card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 100

Wild accusation

By Allissa - 14/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband accused me of having an incestuous relationship with my deceased father, all because we haven’t had sex in months due to my grieving. According to him, no one grieves that hard for someone unless they were in love or fucking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 161

Sorry moley

By Ubehage - 15/03/2023 16:00 - Denmark

Today, I managed to fell a tree perfectly. It landed exactly where it should. Today is also the day I managed to Whack-a-Mole in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 142

My window

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my new neighbour is delusional. She’s only lived next door 3 weeks and she’s called the police on me 11 times for “taking his bin out so he can look in my window”, “hanging out the washing so he can look in my window” and “barbecuing with his kids so he can look in my window.” Crazy bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 71

Why now?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 22:00 - United States - Lufkin

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 131

Healthy family dynamic

By Matt - 20/03/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 156

Streaming

By Soiled - 12/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I lost my balance while peeing. I'll let your imagination do the rest. In the meantime, I'm going to take a shower and change my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 205

Is that even legal?

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 00:00

Today, I went to the cafeteria at work like I usually do, but couldn't find anything I liked. Turns out there's a new policy in place: the cafeteria is now serving only vegan foodstuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 142

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Coworkers Embarrassing Smells Work Miscellaneous Family Funerals Awkward Money Food Health Kids Love Friends Transportation Cheating Intimacy NSFW Sex Frustration Teachers Relatable Parents Instagram I need your advice Ghosting Social Media Weddings Crush Weird

The Top

Random

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 792

You deserved it 21 177

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 623

You deserved it 66 516

Today, my work's annual Christmas party is at 3:00. Everyone in the office is off work at 2:00, except me and the boss who is staying 'til 4:00. I have been informed the boss is leaving early today to attend the Christmas party, but I need to lock up when I leave at 4:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 824

You deserved it 199

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 187

Today, after two years of fighting, I finally got an appointment for my son to see an autism specialist. The appointment is in December 2026. He’ll be 11 and in high school by then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 106

Today, my kid kept trying to play in the aisles at Costco and wouldn't listen when I told him to stop. He was spinning in circles when a guy with a cart full of sodas ran into him, rolling over his leg. The first thing my wife said? "Why didn't you tell him to stop?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 370