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The all-time greatest FMLs

Intervention

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we all got together and showed Dad, with evidence from our ring doorbell and our phone recordings, that I’m the only one he shouts at, yet with everyone else he controls his temper perfectly. The end result? He sent everyone out so he could yell at me about violating his privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 144

Dude, shut up

By BiteMe - 28/08/2022 18:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, I accidently accepted a lunch invitation from an old friend, because I forgot what they're like. Here comes another hour and a half monologue about how great they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 305

Stuck

By Anonymous - 14/01/2021 05:00 - United States

Today, while on my way to deliver aluminum to a customer on top of a really steep hill, there wasn't enough room to do a U-turn without clipping a vehicle. I had to go through some mud, so now the company semi is bumper-deep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 185

Gas giant

By …how??? - 21/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I learned that the average human farts 15 times a day. I fart more than that within the first hour of the day, and that’s even after not eating anything for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 167

You took your time!

By Rejected - 01/09/2021 10:01

Today, almost 7 weeks after the second interview for a job I really wanted, and hearing nothing from the job or the staffing agents, I got an email saying they won’t be hiring me. I gave up my search a few weeks ago when I started the third trimester of my pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 231

There's still hope, somewhere…

By John - 21/02/2025 09:00

Today, like every day for the past few weeks, I watched the richest man in the world, who was never elected to any office, tear my government apart to make himself and his friends richer. We're so fucked. I'm so afraid for my family and loved ones. I don't know how to cope or protect them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 485

Low effort

By kya - 29/01/2021 03:31

Today, my mother, who works in retail, wears her mask around my dad and my siblings, but deliberately takes it off around me. I always knew she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 116

Inked

By Rubach - 13/06/2021 02:01

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my dad will die without knowing I have tattoos on my body. I'm afraid my dad will suffer a deadly heart attack due to the revelation, as he had two heart failures in the past. My dad is still the sort of person who thinks that people with tattoos are criminals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 381

Gutsy move

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, dealing with anxiety and depression, I finally got up the energy to bake. I chose homemade enchiladas. I then spent the whole day walking from the toilet to the nearest couch (and vice versa), feeling like my intestines were going to blow. No more enchiladas for me for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 220

Hang in there

By Trinity - 11/05/2023 06:00

Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 85

Timing

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got an email back at 3 a.m. from a university I applied for, saying that I got in on a provisional basis. That provision was that I had to provide certain documents to prove my prior learning. The due date for the documents was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 94

Banana bread?

By Sarah - 11/09/2021 14:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I ordered 3 bananas on Instacart, but actually received 3 overripe bunches of bananas. I don’t know what to do with 18 bananas before they all rot by tomorrow night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 224

The sweet sighs of disappointment

By ThatGuyWhoRolled - 05/01/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 415

No control over my limbs

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 189

Feeders

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 1 009

One, two, three, four…

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 06:00 - Canada

Today, I thought I was having a nice day at work, until I had a client who paid me $376 in rolls made of 0.05 and 0.10. It took me an hour to count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 120

Flummoxed

By Pastry boiii - 10/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, it’s been three hours since my girlfriend starting giving me the silent treatment. I went to the bakery to buy some pastries, so I asked her if she wanted any before I left. She said “No.” I came home with one pastry for myself and she threw a tantrum because she'd said “No” to see if I would get her one anyway. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 215

We love our short kings

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I’m a short but decently attractive male but I can’t gain enough confidence to approach women, because of the trauma from female classmates treating me terribly in high school when I was still short, but also still going through puberty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 228

Eww, roommate from hell

By jill - 10/03/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 368

Repressed memories

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about my uncle who committed suicide when I was younger. When I tried to remember his name, my mind went completely blank. It was bugging me all day, until I remembered halfway through the movie we were watching. It took me a whole day to remember my deceased uncle's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 186

The Marlboro Man

By Victoria - 19/10/2022 18:00

Today, I'm trying to quit smoking because I'm actually running low on money. I just realized that I'm actually spending a lot more money and gaining more weight by eating junk food to relieve my anxiety than what I used to spend buying packs of cigarettes. I can't afford a psychologist, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 260

The price of partying

By Rafael - 06/12/2021 17:01

Today, and since I went to a club with a few friends for the first time two days ago, I now have tinnitus, which still persists and I'm worried it might be permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 264

Warren Zevon wrote bangers

By The song is "Excitable Boy" - 03/01/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 145

Unfair

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 15:00

Today, my fat brother has nothing wrong with him. His blood pressure, cholesterol, and absolutely everything are perfectly normal, despite him being 10 stone overweight. I'm 12 stone and exercise regularly, yet I have 4 separate serious medical conditions, one of which might one day kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 237

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 126

I smell winter

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 17:02

Today, in my mom’s house, I can stay in one of two rooms: The one that's clean, tidy, quiet and has a comfortable seat… or the one that's warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 139

Can't be bothered

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 200

Casual sexism

By QueenofMean2U - 21/01/2023 14:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, we found out someone got fired, and someone who was supposed to get fired, did not. I wonder if the boss is sleeping with employees, because all the men always get fired, but a few of the women haven't, and one cannot account for $30,000 in missing parts. I'm too old to finesse the boss like the thots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 149

New mommies

By Anonymous - 07/01/2023 21:00

Today, for the third time, my ex-husband sent another new girlfriend to pick up our kids. It’s crazy that the court sees nothing wrong with his parading a stream of women, which could be dangerous to our kids. The judge said that as long as he keeps up with visitation and child support, there’s nothing I can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 992

Your love is cancelled

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few weeks, I've been dating a new guy. Things were going well, we had planned a romantic weekend getaway, but when we got to the hotel, we found out that our reservation had been cancelled. The hotel was fully booked, and we had to spend the night in separate rooms at a sketchy motel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 160

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The Top

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 059

You deserved it 287 679

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 997

Random

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 723

You deserved it 7 418

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 279

You deserved it 3 645

Today, while my 4 year-old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 416

You deserved it 3 328

Apparently he misses it very much...

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 81

Today, despite using the bathroom before I left my house, then at the bus station 10 minutes later, I still had to get off my bus halfway into my hour long journey to pee in a back alley or I would have wet myself. I'm 24 and this has happened twice in the last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 185

You deserved it 256

Today, I have Covid and am stuck in isolation with my sister. I have been staying in my room to avoid spreading it, but my sister just yelled at me because I "looked at a bird outside" and might have "given the bird Covid from the mucus in my eyes." She picked this theory up from a stranger on Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 133