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The all-time greatest FMLs

Inferiority complex

By jonatthon - 30/10/2022 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my girlfriend met my brother who, despite being 10 years older, is taller, smarter, slimmer, richer, more handsome, and just objectively better in every way. He always has been. An hour ago, she broke up with me. Meeting my brother convinced her she'd settled for me and could do better with almost anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 171

The joys of pregnancy

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 22:59 - United States - Wausau

Today, while 9 months pregnant, I was sleeping soundly for once, cuddling with my cat, having a nice dream… until I woke up choking on acid reflux, peed the bed, peed on the carpet and all over myself trying to get to the bathroom. This is not the first time this has happened. At least I didn't puke this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 222

Unionize

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 00:01

Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 147

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 421

Not so secular workplace issues

By Anonymous - 21/12/2022 18:00

Today, I don’t know what to do, my (female) boss just told me that in order to comply with our dress code, I now have to go and tell most of our female employees to cover up their visible cleavage. I'm not the most confident around women, how am I supposed to discuss their boobs with them? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 191

My kid, the playa

By baldiesmom - 29/08/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 236

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 89

Old fashioned

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 02:00

Today, my dad, who lives a billion miles away in Japan, somehow found out I’ve been indulging my bisexual curiosity while at university, and because he doesn’t like technology, sent me a handwritten letter that took like a month to get here, disowning me until I return to being straight only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 282

ASMR

By Crucible101 - 24/08/2020 08:07

Today, I listened to a recording of a woman saying, "I love you" for about 30 mins straight. That's apparently the only way I can feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 323

Classic switcheroo

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had a movie date planned with a guy. After a polite exchange, we were interrupted by a phone call from his colleague saying they had an emergency that needed his attention. He excused himself to take the call, telling me he wouldn't be long. He drove off and blocked my number the moment he stepped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 148

My Drug Buddy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2021 00:01 - United States - Shingletown

Today, my husband left me for a girl who seems to have a mental age of 12, because she'll smoke meth with him, and I won't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 122

Grown-ass man

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 05:01 - United States - Southfield

Today, my mom got angry that I moved stuff in the freezer, and banned me from even opening it in future. I’m in my 30s, I fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, and now I've lost freezer privileges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 220

Targeted strike

By Anonymous - 18/05/2023 18:00

Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 172

I can fix him

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 08:00 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, my daughter must be punishing me for something. She's dating a boy who dropped out of high school to “escape the system” and yet loves collecting unemployment benefits, and refuses to read books because he hates not knowing what the characters really look like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 170

Gamers care

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 04:01

Today, I was interacting with someone on a video game, and the topic somehow got switched to mental illness. When I told him about my problems, he was very sympathetic and understanding. A complete stranger cares more about me than my actual family. I'm not sure if I should be happy or crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 158

Ideal first date

By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 05:01

Today, I went on a date where the guy got drunk off 11 White Claws, I got 18 ant bites (yes, I counted), stung by a yellow jacket, and lost both pairs of our shoes. He told me he was going to a strip club after, messed up my name 3 times and didn’t pay for anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 327

Sailing close the wind

By FvckMenSmh - 25/07/2022 14:00

Today, what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my wedding day, turned into the day in hell. A friend caught my now ex kissing his friend outside. The girl he told me was “just a friend and nothing more” whenever I suspected there was indeed nothing more. Now I've found out in the worst way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 109

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 04:00

Today, our dog died suddenly, so I paid for tests to find out why. Turns out she had zero blood sugar, like a diabetic who overdosed on insulin. I’m diabetic and I’m always telling my 6 year-old son it’s medicine to make daddy better. The dog was sick yesterday, and my son knows how I inject. Damn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 274

Different life goals

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 04:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, my boyfriend of almost 3 years told me he wants kids, specifically a biological child with me. When we started dating, I told him that I didn't want kids and he said the same, but now he's changed his mind. I haven't. I love him and will probably lose him because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 227

Motivation

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had a job interview today after being unemployed for months. I left early but a stranger's giant SUV had me blocked in for over two hours. I called to explain the situation in the hope that I would be given another interview slot later in the week. I was told I clearly didn’t want the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 237

Sounds like a catch

By Anonymous - 02/11/2020 02:01

Today, I accidentally got pregnant by my boyfriend of three years and now I’m 4 months pregnant, single and we don’t even talk anymore. The best part is that he doesn’t believe I’m pregnant, nor that it’s his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 502

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 18:01

Today, my mom sent me to a counselor she knew "through the church" so that I could get some stressors off my chest. Worst idea ever. This "counselor" invalidated everything I had to say and basically told me to pray the issues away, all while completely ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 137

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 00:01

Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 151

Pants on fire

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 112

Get your vaccinations if you can

By Jules - 25/04/2021 00:30

Today, we’re supposed to check people’s temperatures before their COVID vaccination. The thermometers don’t work, though. We’re told to just press the on-off-button twice, so they make the same beep-beep sound as if they were functioning to make people feel safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 138

The heat is on

By Emma - 17/03/2021 22:59

Today, I met my boyfriend’s 6 year-old son. The first thing he said to me was, "You’re not going to leave us for another man like mommy did, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 114

Parental approval

By Conor Moreau - 18/08/2020 23:02

Today, I left my favorite hoodie in the kitchen. Not 5 seconds after I left the kitchen to go to my room, I overheard my dad say, "Any chance we can just throw that out before he notices?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 439

What a catch

By Anonymous - 30/09/2021 08:00 - Australia

Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 110

Management for dummies

By hayley8 - 04/06/2022 10:00

Today, it’s the middle of my vacation and I just got a notification saying my time off request was denied. A month earlier, I got the notice saying it was approved. I’m literally 4 states over. I’m not going to have a job when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 100

Kids will be kids

By bad influence - 30/03/2021 00:30 - United States

Today, I've been getting terrible backlash from the neighbors after I forbade my kids from hanging out with one of the neighborhood kids. They think I dislike her because she’s trans. The truth is she’s rude, disrespectful, has been in several fights and had run ins with the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 107

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 022

You deserved it 7 264

Today, I read a PostSecret that said, "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 951

You deserved it 11 997

Random

Today, I found out that my so-called "friends" on my Skype group chat have another group chat that contains everyone but me. Apparently, they made it so I would not "disturb" their conversations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 829

You deserved it 2 627

Today, I was on a friend's trampoline trying to convince my mom that trampolines are safe and we should get one. While telling her, I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 483

You deserved it 35 069

Today, like for the last year, I’ve been on Tinder. I was having a great conversation with a man and we were planning a date for next week when he asked for my number. When I politely responded that I’d rather wait to exchange numbers after meeting in person, he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 618

Today, a lady chased me through the mall because I wouldn’t babysit her kid while she shopped. I hate kids and don’t babysit, especially random ones, and especially not for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 101

Today, it's been months that my mom has owed me $174, and every time I ask she tells me she's too poor to pay me back. Girly bought an entire 180k dollar farm with my grandparents the day after I asked (also the money was used for gas, and she guilt tripped me into giving it to her). FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 109

Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 208