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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 146

Creepy crawlies

By Cockroachphobic - 04/04/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 930

Classic sitcom fodder

By Captain obvious - 14/04/2023 18:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I walked in on my wife in bed naked, with a guy I’ve never even heard of. At first she said, “It’s not what it looks like!” I told her I just saw her cheating on me with another man, to which she said, “Oh… it’s exactly what it looks like.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 153

Kinda sus, dude

By Meg - 22/09/2022 10:30

Today, I asked my husband to borrow his phone, since mine had died. His response was, “Well, you have a charger, use it.” When I reminded him that we weren’t at home, he screamed at me in front of everyone at the store, “I’m not letting you go through my phone and that’s final!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 205

That sinking feeling…

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 08:00

Today, I went to change the toilet paper roll. I failed. It was the last roll of the "right kind," and my wife is "fine" and "not mad." Let the confinement continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 443

Sworn to secrecy

By TheEpicWario - 01/06/2021 14:02

Today, my mom confirmed my suspicions that my dad cheated on her. She then told me to hide my knowledge about it from my dad, and to keep my brother completely in the dark for now. Now I can't even look at my dad without reaching the brink of crying, and I'm somehow supposed to keep this under wraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 176

By Shrek's Pubes - 22/05/2019 20:00

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde. Turns out, green hair doesn't suit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 587

Sketchy

By Anonymous - 13/05/2021 02:01

Today, I met my boyfriend’s female friend. We all went out to dinner, he paid for her meal instead of mine, asked me why I’m not a redhead like her, and when he dropped her off at her house, spent the entire hour car ride talking about how perfect she is. He still has no idea why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 175

Zoomers

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 11:01

Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 118

Seagull on wheels

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 17:01

Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 185

Forever Alone

By cacheson - 02/03/2020 12:07

Today, I finally felt the inspiration to write creatively again. I worked for an hour on a character concept before I realized I'd actually created an imaginary sister/best friend for myself because I’m so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 245

Creepy crawlies

By Anonymous - 27/07/2020 17:01

Today, a friend of mine told me, after coming over to my house for years, that she has tiny "bugs" that are attached to her and follow her wherever she goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 131

O'Reilly

By still can’t get any - 04/04/2022 06:00

Today, I’m convinced my son has some sort of radar. Literally every time my partner and I try to have sex, he wakes up and interrupts us. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but the fact that it’s happened at 12am, 12pm, 6am and 3pm tells me otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 247

Great party, eh?

By Anonymous - 30/09/2021 17:00

Today, my girlfriend and I threw a housewarming party we'd been planning for almost 2 months. Out of the 30 plus people I invited from work, literally nobody showed up. Not going to lie, I'm a little depressed about it. It's going to be hard to go to work and pretend I'm not upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 283

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 953

Parenting gone feral

By hungry - 22/10/2019 04:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 305

Busted

By wookieewhosshe - 19/06/2019 21:13

Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 730

Is this dude a puma?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 1 573

Phished

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 02:00

Today, I found out that I'm completely and utterly head over heels in love with a man who, as it turns out, doesn't actually exist. Thank you, the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 691

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 337

Fly me to the moon

By Anonymous - 11/08/2020 23:01

Today, I booked a long distance flight across two continents, costing me over 600 bucks. I then got a confirmation email. For a different flight. I wrote to their customer service address, saying there has been an error, and to please either change or cancel the booking. I never got any reply. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 198