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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Ava - 27/04/2019 12:00

Today, a jobless person felt sympathy for me because I work retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 265

By LesboLover - 26/06/2019 02:30

Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 287

#1 Dad!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I told my fiancé he needed to spend at least one night a week at home with his daughter or we will pack up and leave. He responded by getting a suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 373

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 258

By girlw/ablog - 02/07/2019 18:00 - United States - Austin

Today, while on a bus, an elderly lady sat next to me sneezed so hard, snot literally went flying. I even offered her a napkin, that she refused. After a brief panic and realizing she had nothing to clean her mess with, she "inconspicuously" wiped her snotty hand on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 143

Money first

By Anonymus - 31/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Warkworth

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 337

Cancel Student Debt

By Anonymous - 28/10/2019 16:00

Today, I paid $800.00 towards my student loans. That was the minimum payment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 447

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 361

By James - 20/08/2017 16:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my mates and I decided to get inked. I chose a chest tattoo of my last name, Coch. I'll let you guess what it looked like when I was finally able to inspect the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 4 484

Doomsday

By Alberto - 07/10/2022 10:30

Today, I had to wake up my mother as the earthquake alarm rang in my country. This is the second quake in less than a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 176

Domestic

By Anonymous - 16/12/2022 15:00

Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 185

On the runs

By coloneltushfinger - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 484

Twist in my sobriety

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, my group of friends officially cut ties with me. According to them, my girlfriend "has me whipped" and made me "boring", all because she helped me break free from my alcoholism and finally get sober (two years and eight months running). They told me to call them when I'm "ready to be fun again". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 195

Double trouble

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 20:10

Today, I found out that the doctors accidentally perforated my left ear drum performing a routine wax syringing. I was at the doctor's for a completely different reason, having crushed my pinky at the gym. They can't fix either and my finger needs surgery, which can't happen until next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 148

It was yummy

By lilviss - 11/12/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I found maggots in the ketchup on my sausage. Too bad I had already eaten half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 258

Stressed out

By mystermoon - 25/06/2019 16:00

Today, at my job in a pet store, my boss had me pull all the bags of food out and restock them so that they sat pretty. Five minutes later, the store is full of people. My manager screamed, "They're touching things!" and locked himself in the office with a cup of tea. He has the only open register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 127

Dodged a bullet

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her father looked me up and down, said, “No” then went back to his TV. My girlfriend immediately broke up with me and threw me out. I even had to get a really expensive taxi home, because we’d driven in her car and I had no idea what part of the city I was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 350