Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my swimming trunks. It was my grandma snorkeling. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
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Top comments
Born2Pizza 23
Should've splashed her.
gosh_mate 30
Just another weird situations that lifeguards have to deal with!
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Comments (35)
InnocenceBlue 37
Gotta love crazy old biddies.
chillaxed 14
respect your elders woman! you came from them and you will be one. RESPECT!
williamcarter93 13
26, no. nobody deserves respect just for being old. the woman acted disrespectfully
chillaxed 14
and you need to RESPECT your elders she has right to act disrespectful cuz she been here longer struggled more
Rkikkas9713 25
That makes no sense, kid. You don't automatically give respect. It's earned. If a war veteran is treating people like shit, I'm not going to respect them, even though they fought for our country.
Willibobs 33
#26 LOVE how your username is chillaxed... You seem the complete opposite lmao.
williamcarter93 13
nobody earns the right to disrespect another human being. You sound stupid
tiptoppc 19
Let me guess, you are the backup arm crossers that stand behind Karens when they go off on a racist tyrade because how dare kids that aren’t white run a harmless lemonade stand.
Born2Pizza 23
Should've splashed her.
HarshD9619 34
The day Sheldon Cooper went to the pool. "You're in my spot"
stingray112 24
You can't defend yourself from an old lady? come on now
Youre_A_Pussy 19
Not everyone feels like hitting an old lady
derangedplanet 23
Not everyone is willing. you'd definitly want to.
Shadowpartner 11
#2 what do you think she is, magickarp?
Awesomeironman2 15
*Magikarp
blackjack159 11
It's when she starts reaching for her bag of cats you should start to panic. After all everyone knows there is nothing scarier than a crazy old cat lady ;)
SAGARCo 19
A bag of cats belonging to said cat lady dumped in the water with you? That's pretty scary.
GreyGirl 15
Hey my ifunny username is crazyoldcatlady
gosh_mate 30
Just another weird situations that lifeguards have to deal with!
Ipeh 20
Lifeguards have to deal with very freaky things sometimes...
everythingelena 28
if this lady is a regular at this pool I doubt this is the first time the lifeguards have had to deal with her about "her part of the pool" sorry that happened Anon just try to find some of the open pool and keep on swimming :)
derangedplanet 23
**** that lifeguards life. that would suck.
gracehi 31
"I claim this section of the pool for Mars!"
Patriots21 14
THOU SHALL NOT PASS!
tayyymeds 16
Maybe try the kiddie pool? They might be more accepting.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I don't think that would be considered appropriate
creatureman 14
I hope she doesn't start drowning. No one is allowed in her part of the pool to save her.
MandyO 15
You handled that quite swimmingly.
countryb_cth 38
Have to say you handled that really well. I would have been ok up until she physically attacked me for being in "her part of the pool." Then I would have freaked and told her she was crazy and that it's a public pool so get over it. Or hid behind the lifeguard...