The Top

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Quality family time

By Anonymous - 27/01/2026 12:00

Today, I went to my ex-father-in-law’s funeral. The woman my husband cheated on me with, and blew up our marriage for, was mentioned in the eulogy, as well as her kids. Neither myself nor my kids were acknowledged, even though I was married to the evil bastard’s son for over 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 126

Strong

By blanknameisblank - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 916

You deserved it 22 267

Superman

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was made clear to me my baby brother has been letting me win all our fights, because I accidentally left my truck parking brake off so it started rolling down the street, and he caught it and dragged it to a full stop. That things weighs almost a tonne. I can’t fight him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 403

No chicks in the Man Cave

By Wife of a wannabe loser - 02/03/2026 09:00

Today, I went into my husband's man cave to ask him a question. He was blasting a song about being an unemployed single loser, singing along, and playing video games. What the fuck did I marry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 521

Strained out

By Anonymous - 05/03/2026 22:00

Today, my parents happily announced that they're getting remarried. They divorced because of the strain brought on by me nearly dying in a car accident. So basically they put us through all that shit, including me blaming myself for everything, for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 71

Oh nooooo!

By Grow up - 13/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband has been sulking because he got the urge to play Runescape and discovered that his old account was hacked and he lost all his fake money and items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 352

RIP MIL

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law died but my husband still insists that we go on our family spring break vacation. I don't want to because I loved my MIL and our kids are absolutely distraught and don't want to go anymore, plus we would miss the funeral if we went. But he refuses to cancel or postpone. He's being selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 89

Uncle Fester

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 15:00

Today, my asshole uncle stole the painkillers I was prescribed after my surgery. To top it all off, the pharmacy called CPS on my mom when she attempted to replace them because they thought she was lying, so they're going to be investigating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 61

Protip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 03:00

Today, my boyfriend scratched his balls then rubbed his finger under my nose, all so he could grab the TV remote and change the channel while I ran to the sink retching FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 116

A bit of an overreaction

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 12:00

Today, my wife, who I thought was my soulmate, admitted that she only went out on our first date because she'd lost a bet, and she'd thought I was a loser. Even though she kept saying that she really did fall in love with me, I left. My heart is just shattered. I'm not going back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 594

Let's get it on

By None of that means consent to sex - 08/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 236

Not very romantic

By whyyyyy - 10/04/2026 14:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, my husband read my texts and discovered that I get a laugh out of making him beg for sex. He handed me a printout of the texts and coldly said, "Either we're going down the list of everything you've said no to, or I find a side piece. Make a choice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 838

Antiques roadshow

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we needed to get an antique dresser downstairs for sale. While I was fetching a cart to wheel it down safely, my wife and boys decided to impress me by carrying it. The plaster on the walls now needs repair, as does the banister and glass front door. Plus the dresser is now unsellable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 60

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 07:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 134

Pile on

By skitzobiatch69 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 043

You deserved it 2 437

Batman

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 04:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I found out the hard way that my dad sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at 3 a.m. to inform them that there was a bat in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 344

Disappointed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Padstow

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wanted to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 832

You deserved it 3 960

Think globally

By Bloody tears - 27/05/2026 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my husband got so worked up in an argument that his blood pressure spiked and he burst a vein in his eyeball. He was arguing with a guy on the internet, trying to convince him that Donald Trump is evil. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 184

Private stuff

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone to my boss and I mentioned about finding what he needed in the search history. Later, my dad asked what a search history is. When I explained, he went red and asked me if I could maybe delete his without reading it. Jesus Christ, Dad, use private browsing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 90

Round trip

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 08:00 - Australia

Today, due to the unexpected closure of Qatari airspace, I took a 14 hour flight from Perth, Western Australia to Perth, Western Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 72

Not sponsored by Klondike bars (but feel free to send us some)

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Canton

Today, I realised that on top of my gluten intolerance, garlic intolerance, and just the general having to poop way too much in 12 hours, apparently my system does not like ice cream anymore. I get diarrhea after eating any amount. And I love Klondike bars! FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 95

To each their own

By Anonymous - 08/07/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I realised I might be a masochist. I enjoy being owned like an object and ordered like a slave. I don’t know where my life will go anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 318

Scarred for life

By Mortified - 22/07/2025 22:00 - South Africa

Today, I meant to send a spicy message to my partner, but sent it to my dad due to the Whatsapp conversations being next to each other on my computer screen, and me not paying attention due to being an idiot. My dad replied, “Uh... not sure I needed that mental image.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 588

Get out!

By birdhater - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 207

You deserved it 2 751

I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 126

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's friend's dad, demanding I pick him up immediately. When I arrived, he marched me into the house and pointed at an Xbox controller lodged in the wall, informing me I'd be receiving the bill for drywall repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 216

Chance encounter

By Never chosen - 27/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I ran into a guy I knew from 3 years ago. He just moved here from out of state and is planning to stay forever. This is the same guy who dated me long distance and dumped me after a while because he “couldn’t handle long distance.” He just got engaged to a girl who lives here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 111

Don't mess with crazy

By Just a joke - 17/09/2025 15:00

Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 670

I think you should leave

By yctb - 21/09/2025 03:00

Today, after my parents divorced, my father promised to move out in August but has now delayed it until October out of laziness. He's barely spoken to us for months, and when he does, it's with aggressive and childish arrogance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 80

And I love her

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 22:00

Today, I wondered who ever came up with the idea that women are elegant and refined. Mine farts like a horse, belches like a bullfrog, eats like a pig, and she's proud of it. Like something out of Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 481

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The Top

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 251

You deserved it 5 193

Today, it seems I do, in fact, have an addiction to food. My employer has put on a weight loss challenge with a 1000$ prize, and on day 5 of 100 I'm already lying to the calorie counting app I installed on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 024

You deserved it 2 362

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 330

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 665

Today, my ex mother-in-law stupidly made an offhand comment, so I got my kids DNA tested. NONE, I repeat NONE of them is mine. When I think of the thousands I’ve paid in child support I’ll never get back, and now my own mother thinks I’m an asshole for refusing to pay any further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 169

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 697