The Top

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Torture

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 745

You deserved it 1 782

Careful

By wowawesome - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 452

Nervous

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 160

She's lost control

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 92

Ewww!

By M…… - 27/06/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 038

Make your mind up!

By EpicOracle - 04/07/2025 11:00 - Nigeria

Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 303

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my best friend got married. I had introduced her to her now husband, and ever since she has basically acted like I don't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 92

Clout chasers

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my son tried to go viral by livestreaming himself walking down our busy street while talking to his "chat", while my other son came up and lamped him with a punch to the side of the head, pretending to be a stranger, or a "hater". I hate this streaming shit, but I never thought I'd raised clout chasing morons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 131

Help! I need somebody!

By Not John, Paul, George or Ringo - 24/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I tried cutting my own bangs to save money. When I was done, they were so crooked that my roommate thought I’d lost a bet. Now I have to go into work tomorrow looking like a rejected Beatles tribute act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 519

Fireworks

By adrenochrome - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Lithuania

Today, I learned that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 970

You deserved it 43 637

Get it on

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was really excited because the guy I was seeing invited me over for sex. His house was messy, but I looked past that. The final straw was he wouldn’t make his dog get off the bed so we could get it on. He actually got offended and told me to leave because, “What? She’s just lying there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 114

Ewwww

By SayWhat - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 992

You deserved it 4 878

And then I go and spoil it all…

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was ecstatic my autistic son went on a play date. It went wonderfully and my son was happier than he’s ever been. Sadly, the dad was such a damn creep he hit on me every time the kids were out of earshot. I don’t want my son to lose his only friend but the dad makes me so uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 80

Promises, promises

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 793

Be the change you want to see in the world

By Anonymous - 31/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, unfortunately, my friend is a victim of domestic violence and I want to be there for her. The dilemma is that I was abused for 7 months by one of her buddies and she's basically making it out as if it didn't happen. Basically downplaying my trauma all because it's her "homie." Double standards or what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 116

Spice it up

By Jan - 13/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 941

Tough luck

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 12:00

Today, as if it wasn’t bad enough my dumbass daughter would seduce and hookup with my boyfriends throughout her teenage years, she’s now ruined her own marriage by sleeping with married men, and wants to move back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 198

Skint

By Cheap date - 30/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 877

Run for the hills

By Ih8meself - 10/11/2025 03:00

Today, my fiance told me that if I don’t “get on Ozempic or some shit” by our honeymoon, he won’t consummate the marriage. Half an hour later he told me to make some breakfast because he was hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 146

Hey big spender!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 22:00

Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 325

Tired and emotional

By Tired mommy - 19/11/2025 00:00

Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 178

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 116

Why me?

By Irenne - 26/11/2025 03:00

Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 884

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 273

Go go dancer

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was dancing in a club when some manager told me to stop messing around and get back on stage or I’m not getting paid. I think he thought I worked for him. I was in jeans and a glittery vest, all the dancers were in booty shorts and bikini tops. What the hell, my guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 75

Playing favorites

By So sick of disrespect - 21/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 72

Harsh but fair

By Singlemamma - 05/02/2026 00:00

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 627

Digging for gold

By PUKEATRONIC BARF-O-MATIC SPEWORAMA - 17/02/2026 12:00

Today, after a bad head cold, my boyfriend woke up, shambled to the bathroom and sniffled. He then pulled the biggest booger I've ever seen out of his nose; it looked like a giant slug. He took a picture, then set it as his lock screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 76

Gamers rise up

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 03:00

Today, my girlfriend destroyed my Xbox, because somewhere in her psycho brain she actually thought it would get me to pay more attention to her, even though I only play 3 hours on a Sunday. Joke's on her, I bought a new one, she’s back on the streets, and I play it a whole lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 116

Witch's brew

By Anonymous - 19/03/2026 20:00

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to have sex while she’s on her period. She kept half-whispering, half-moaning weird phrases I didn’t understand. After some googling, it roughly translated to “Bound in blood. Together forever bound by blood.” I think she tried to hex me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 104

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The Top

Today, I was helping my Grandfather to sort through tubs and bins after cleaning out his attic, and I had to move a 50lb bin downstairs. That's when the dog thought it would be funny to block the top of the stairs as I was going down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 691

You deserved it 1 007

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 011

You deserved it 7 338

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 714

You deserved it 31 076

Today, my husband started screaming at me about how I’d lost the mop, so he couldn’t mop the kitchen, and how the mess in the house is my fault since I got fired before Covid and "sit all day doing nothing" when I could be cleaning. Because job hunting during Covid is totally doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 1 156

Today, at work, I served a rude ass customer and his bratty ass kid, and was forced to swipe her toy debit card so it appeared as if the daughter paid for her snack. In that moment, I questioned my entire existence. Whichever company invented that toy hates cashiers everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 291

Today, I'm so poor that I had to surrender my well-loved dog to a different family so that he’ll have a good life, all while I live out of my car in the ghetto, paycheck to paycheck. My dog was also my service dog for medical alerts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 131