By wtfwhyfml - 14/06/2013 19:29 - United States
The Top
wtfwhyfml tells us more.
By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 04:22
Perv
By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 14:53 - Canada
Internalized misogyny
By eyeroll - 08/05/2022 16:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 13:25 - United States - Elk Grove
By The Clitshank Redemption - 05/06/2013 23:11 - United Kingdom - Cambridge
By Rhyno - 05/05/2009 15:37 - United States
Rhyno tells us more.
To explain a bit more in detail, I pulled a U-Turn and the dog ran out of the yard and boom... It was a medium sized dog, I drive an SUV and didn't see it as I was making the turn. I didn't even know they had a dog... haha The following 20 minutes were probably the most uncomfortable of my life, after I knew the dog was fine I kinda laughed nervously and left. "Hi I'm the guy who is dating your daughter, sorry about the dog"... Live and you learn.
Life advice
By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 15:19 - United States - Wichita Falls
With friends like these…
By Poor as fuck - 29/05/2019 22:07
1, 2, 3… FIRE!
By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States
Surprise indeed
By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands
Grilled
By Anonymous - 17/07/2023 03:00
By Anonymous - 01/06/2019 22:00
By fuckshitcockwaffle - 31/05/2013 14:59 - Australia - Bayswater
Why so serious?
By wow - 09/08/2011 04:01 - United States
Splash
By JakeHolmes - 17/11/2009 06:48 - United States
By We raised that fool - 06/08/2014 13:21 - United Kingdom - Derby
Hidden
By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 12:40 - Australia - Mooroolbark
By Anonymous - 17/06/2012 04:53 - United States - Lancaster
Strict household
By pathetic_girl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada
Stuck in the life script
By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 15:00
By mustache girl - 27/05/2013 23:10 - Canada - Magog
By taurus05 - 14/11/2009 03:02 - United States
Guess the FML
By Louis - 19/05/2017 21:30 - France - Saint-jean-de-braye
By dorrisdoes - 28/07/2014 20:47 - New Zealand
By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 00:57 - United States
By PrincessPromotion - 26/07/2014 16:29 - United States - Havertown
By jdubious - 28/04/2009 07:47 - United States
jdubious tells us more.
OK, here is the story. I work as an auto service tech at a dealership. We have a big board of keys for the customer cars. It is set up this way because the techs, advisers, valets and wash guys all need quick access to the keys. I was pulling this customers car into the shop for repairs. Every pepper spray I have ever seen(before yesterday) has come in an upright cylinder. They spray at a right angle and are equipped with a snap down style trigger safety at the top. They often come in a leather holster. There is no mistaking what these are. This particular pepper spray was in a small torpedo shaped, red case. The case was colored but it was clear as well. I could just make out the cylinder through the plastic. I mistook the cylinder as a AA battery which supported my flashlight theory. The trigger was a spring loaded, slide-forward type and it was located on the side of the case. The trigger didn't have an active safety and it resembled a switch. Also, this device discharged straight out the end. Check out the website I've included (down at the bottom) to see the real thing. Look at the refills as well and you can see the bottom does in fact look like a battery. First, I pointed the device away from me and pushed down on the button and nothing happened. Then I noticed that the lever slid forward, again nothing happened. I was starting to wonder what the hell kind of flashlight this was. With the lever still slid forward it I looked into the end(to see if it even had a bulb in it) and it discharged into my eye. In order to discharge you had to slide forward then push down. This is their so called "automatic safety". The pain was pretty intense! My coworker guided to the water hose where I flushed my eyes and face for about 20 minutes. As long as I had cool water on my face the pain was manageable. As soon as I took the water away it did in fact feel as if my face was on fire. After I felt slightly better, my right eye was all bloodshot and face was all red. One coworker said it looked like I got hit with a softball. Within 45 minutes there was no pain at all and my face had pretty much returned to normal. THE GOOD: I only took a short .25 second burst I sprayed myself in the face and spared my coworkers There was a water hose nearby THE BAD: I took a .25 second burst of pepper spray! It hit me right in the eye It burned like a bastard THE UGLY: My face just after the whole ordeal #3 Yep, that's me #4 I like gadgets #6 I would post to youtube myself if I had the footage #10 THANK YOU! #13 I truly feel your pain #14 see #13 #19 Sure did, and to top it all off it is called "The Spitfire" #24 THANK YOU! I guess the rest of you a-holes would pepper spray the key cutting guy for looking at your Welcome to Las Vegas keychain #31 A guy who totally gets the point of this story #39 THANK YOU! #48 A very accurate description #49 I understand your thinking but this did happen just yesterday, and I'm the jackass who did it #50 A very valid point
By I don't condome that, babe - 24/07/2014 20:51 - United States - Lutz
Holy eyesight, Batman!
By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 22:00
Keywords
OP here. I normally get to work before dawn; so he was just being a dick. I work as a home care provider for a little old lady with severe mental issues, who's husband/primary care provider works early mornings, as he owns his own lawn care business and where I live the heat is oppressive by noon. However, today he had to work late to make up contracted appointments he'd missed last week because of equipment problems; and for once cleared the hour change via the office. Hence, jackhole supervisor acting a fool. As for finding a new job; I plan to finish this one then move on; her husband is retiring in less then a year and she is extremely picky about care givers. I'm one of two that has lasted more then three weeks; and I refuse to put her and her family through finding a new provider like that.