By LifeSucks - 17/11/2018 05:00
The Top
Trevor
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Oklahoma City
By Mortified - 24/02/2017 20:00 - United States
Not her fault nor mine
By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00
By nocongratsneeded - 04/11/2015 03:23 - United States - Bloomfield Hills
nocongratsneeded tells us more.
By now my watch begins - 31/07/2017 04:00 - United States - Simi Valley
OMG
By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 14:15 - United States - Pomona
So romantic
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Middleboro
By sadmama - 23/02/2018 15:00
Is that even possible?
By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 19:30 - United States - Bellerose
By BenFiggy - 21/04/2016 13:28 - United States - Brick
By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax
By Anonymous - 27/04/2017 00:01 - United States
Kitkat7291 tells us more.
OP here - I've tried to leave an update a few times but it never sends -_-' I did go to the hospital that day and the over all verdict was in fact an ulcer. I'm on really strong antacids now. I also quit that job 2 weeks after this post, but only after securing another one. I'm much happier now, thank you everyone!
By qourt - 14/02/2019 15:34 - United States
Going at it
By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States
By Anonymous - 09/05/2017 04:00
Fartmageddon
By dusty bean - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
When pranks go too far
By ObviousBooty - 17/07/2016 07:31 - United States - Kankakee
By Joey - 04/06/2016 18:52 - United States - Apo
By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 06:00 - United States - Peoria
By Anonymous - 14/01/2018 06:00
Not the nuggets!
By Anon - 27/06/2018 20:30
By badbitch23 - 07/12/2015 23:21 - United States - Killeen
badbitch23 tells us more.
Op here, okay my wife's mother died 2 weeks beforehand and my mom thought it would be funny to make a joke out of it. So yes the punch was for sure justified. I haven't spoke to my mom since and I'm happily married with my wife.
Weird reason, but OK
By hurt - 30/10/2017 08:00 - United States - Boise
Onan would be proud
By concernedcousin - 05/10/2019 12:00
So painful
By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 03:00
White knight, wrong place
By Anonymous - 23/02/2018 19:00
By Lubitueh - 19/10/2018 02:00 - Portugal - Carnaxide
Straight to jail
By breathalizard - 02/05/2009 06:21 - United States
By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs
Keywords
Hi all, this is the OP. Obviously, he's my ex, even though he doesn't seem to realize it yet to judge by the texts and phone calls. To give a little more background, we'd been together for almost three years. We were talking about moving in together (but not getting married, I've seen too many of my friends get divorced already). To really prove that the universe hates me, he and I were still using condoms, because I am that freaked out about pregnancy and I can't take hormonal BC. This is the first time ever I've had one break. I'm sure I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I have scheduled an abortion for the end of this week. It's not a human or a potential one to me, it's just a burden and reminder that former relationship was based on a big fat lie. Plus, being pregnant makes me even more anxious than the thought of being pregnant ever did, and I was full-on tokophobic before. Every time I think about having my body being overtaken by some disgusting little alien creature, my heart starts pounding and I get dizzy. I don't know how many times I've thrown up on cue just thinking about it, and it's not from morning sickness. I also really, really, really dislike babies, contrary to my ex's assumptions. I had one shoved at me when I was a teenager, and I nearly dropped it because everything about it terrified me. I don't think it's a good idea to just hope that those maternal hormones kick in and make me suddenly like kids when I haven't since as long as I can remember. So...no congratulations needed, and no pro-life or pro-adoption rants, either. If you'd find it in your heart to suck it up and make the best of this situation, good for you. The best situation for me is to put everything about this horrible experience behind me as soon as possible.