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Hi guys, OP here. I am no longer with this guy, for many reasons but this was a huge one. Not the first time something like this has happened. To answer any queries, I have anxiety, mainly towards surprises/shocks and this was one hell of a surprise. My ex knew I have "issues" and disappeared into the crowd (this was at a nightclub) knowing I wasn't following. Thanks for the funny replies and support :)

Is that it?

By Better not - 24/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Kenai

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 314

You deserved it 2 406

Single life

By Dxxk Biter - 20/02/2018 06:00

Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 264

You deserved it 733

By stdfree_hopefully - 15/04/2018 06:00

Today, I drove 2 hours to spend the night with a man who I have been seeing for a few weeks. We had sex for the first time. About an hour later, he told me he wasn't really into me and asked to be friends. Then, he apologised because he has herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 2 184

By Jimseagoon - 03/09/2018 20:30

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 450

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:33 - United States - North Little Rock

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 640

You deserved it 2 074

College is gross.

By BarefootNoMore - 17/11/2017 00:00 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I forgot to wear my shower shoes to my dorm shower. I didn’t think it was a huge deal until I walked in and stepped in something. On closer inspection, I realized that I stepped, barefoot, in someone's jizz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 382

You deserved it 1 622

Spit or Swallow?

By buymeflavoredlube - 05/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 784

You deserved it 990

By Sorry, son! - 02/07/2018 07:24

Today, I accidentally walked in on my son giving head to his husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 803

You deserved it 2 083

G_15948832 tells us more.

G_15948832 2

Tuesday 22 May 2018 20:13

Hi, I am the person who wrote this, and I wanted to cover something up. My son and his husband were visiting me and my wife to help out with cleaning the house, so they were staying over for a bit. I didn't think to knock on his door because I thought he was alone, since he earlier told me that his husband was out to get some supplies since we were running low. Obviously I didn't think he was back yet, so hence that situation occurred. My wife thought it was hilarious, though, and she got a great kick out of it. I panicked when I wrote this without much context, and it bothered me so yup I came back. Thats it everybody

By NotSatan - 19/04/2017 14:00

Today, my husband refuses to stop answering my phone calls with, "Haaaaail Satan!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 094

You deserved it 619

By Excalibur - 23/04/2017 21:00 - France

Today, I held a family reunion at my house. I bought a present for my nephew and to mix things up, I hid it in the house. We let him search around, amused, when he suddenly emerged shouting “Auntie has a sword!” He had opened the drawer on my nightstand and pulled out my vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 834

You deserved it 1 931

By no thanks - 24/04/2018 00:54

Today, the father of one of my music students asked me out to dinner via my work e-mail. I thought it was kind of sweet, albeit a little strange, until I got his daughter's instrument rental check, with both his and his wife's name printed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 041

You deserved it 636

Raemel tells us more.

Raemel 2

Wednesday 31 May 2017 6:00

OP here. While I definitely wouldn't have accepted, as it might make things weird for my student (who is only 11 btw for whoever thought I should ask her if her parents are together), he is definitely still married, as I asked him. According to him, they are separated, which I'm sure is not fun, but I live in a small town and I'm sure I would be fired were I to date a married person. I explained that to him and he suggested going on a date out of town to "protect" me and all the red flags went up. Next parent teacher conferences are probably going to be a little weird.