By cacheson - 15/04/2017 19:45
The Top
cacheson tells us more.
Get riggity riggity wrecked, son.
By Anonymous - 25/10/2017 05:00 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster
By Alex White - 02/05/2016 16:50 - Canada - Westerose
By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 13:17 - United States - Gadsden
Catfished
By Iman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Divorce? - 29/07/2017 00:30
Funny how?
By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States
By PumaGator - 04/06/2016 20:39
Fit as a fiddle
By Anonymous - 09/07/2018 20:30
Reach
By shortarse - 13/06/2017 02:00 - Australia - Saint Lucia
By one sorry mom - 05/09/2017 04:31
By rexob - 04/02/2009 15:51 - United States
rexob tells us more.
thanks for all those who are genuinely concerned...i really appreciate it. i'm hanging in there, and hopefully my sister will be alright. we've been to therapy and i think it's helped her, but i don't know how this will come up later in life for us. again, i really appreciate those of you who took this seriously.
By Anonymous - 02/06/2017 11:08
Time to invest in a gas mask!
By crystalxuk - 31/07/2017 18:18 - Republic of Korea
crystalxuk tells us more.
After years of being on FML, I finally get featured! It started about 2 weeks after we got here and I basically have hives, am very itchy, and have severe allergies. All this has made me very depressed for months I just stay at home with the windows closed and the air cleaner on because it gets worse whenever I go outside. So the Army is letting us apply for "compassionate reassignment" which lets us move to our next army base earlier than we are supposed to. Hopefully it gets approved!
Soliciting
By Xena - 25/08/2017 04:30
Romantic gesture
By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 18:00
By Anonymous - 15/03/2018 15:00 - Spain - Marbella
By My rapey cat (doesn't even have balls) - 21/04/2018 01:30
Blasted
By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00
By sadNsingle - 23/09/2017 06:00
By nykkymcallister - 19/05/2016 03:07 - United States - Baltimore
nykkymcallister tells us more.
This is my FML!! I'm honestly surprised it got published. To add more to this, me and my husband both got smart watched (no not Apple watches) because I had gotten one and he wanted to steal it so I got him one too. I said that we should go around our yard and act like we're in a James Bond movie and he agreed. The neighbors didn't know it was us which is why the cops were called. No charges were pressed and my neighbors were fine with us being in their bushes after we told them what we were doing and they even wanted to join us lol. Thank you for all the nice comments!
By sicko - 07/11/2018 18:30 - Egypt
Surprise, MFer!
By dude i am so sorry - 19/09/2016 19:54 - United States - Richmond
By Dr Pepper - 28/01/2018 00:00 - Canada
Slip of the tongue
By Just Awkward - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 14/07/2017 21:30 - Italy
Dude…
By 50sStyle - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Hartland
The Little Sperm That Could
By Anonymous - 24/08/2017 16:00
Promise
By thiswouldhappen. - 17/03/2009 02:19 - United States
By Penguinsuit - 13/03/2018 01:30
Keywords
Ok, followup: cat is fine. She had to stay at the hospital overnight with IV fluids to flush out her system. Also, anyone who understands how picky cats are about what they eat would be surprised that a cat would even consider chocolate food... including the emergency vet, who had never seen a case of a cat eating chocolate in her entire 15 years, simply because cats are not supposed to be dumb enough to try eating it. She had also left said bowl of chocolates (which was up on a high shelf) alone for about three months already, so I had no reason to think she would go after it. Needless to say, I now keep all food items out of reach and sight, regardless of what they are. Since the incident, some of her favorite foods I have discovered (that I mostly try desperately to keep her from eating): tomatoes, peanuts, ice cream, raw sugar snap peas (and other veggies), hair, cardboard, string, rubber bands, and cat litter. The best part? After all that, she doesn't believe that kitty treat tuna flakes are food. Too much like paper...?