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Well this was my post..to clear things up, we had been dating three years, what we agreed would be exclusive. She met her best guy friend about two years into our relationship and started "dating him too" about four months ago.

Benched

By fmlprobot - 04/06/2009 23:48 - United States

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 428

You deserved it 4 684

By anonymous - 01/12/2010 08:30 - United States

Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 829

You deserved it 3 745

Thanks, auntie

By itwasmyfavoriteshirt - 16/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Bentonville

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 186

You deserved it 3 716

By ThanksMom - 02/06/2009 12:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 222

You deserved it 4 362

ThanksMom tells us more.

ThanksMom 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:26

Hi, FMLer here. The reason my mother said that was because she wanted me to get back together with my first boyfriend, though I've been with my new fiance for 5 years. She never got over me leaving my first and never accepted anyone after. And as you might have noticed in my previous paragraph- I said yes! (And by the way, my father told my mother if she leaves, he'd stay and wouldnt give her the car keys. ;) )

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because he "didn't believe in marriage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 895

You deserved it 4 872

By Jorgen - 18/12/2015 01:45 - United States

Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 839

You deserved it 2 344

Higher than the sun

By Bad Dad - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 952

You deserved it 5 112

By awesomekidsmum - 18/09/2011 01:20 - Canada

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 792

You deserved it 9 143

It is what it is

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 19:57

Today, I drunkenly admitted to a friend of five years that I've "liked" her for a long time now. She's been in a relationship with some douche for a year and a half at this point. She started crying, and when she finally stopped said, "I can forget this ever happened." FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 379

By Jasmine - 10/10/2014 05:52 - United States - Sacramento

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 911

You deserved it 6 127

Romance is dead

By cuteloser - 04/10/2014 13:57 - Australia

Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 367

You deserved it 7 580

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 231

You deserved it 8 014

By kumbuck3t15 - 29/07/2012 20:20 - Mexico - Distrito Federal

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 535

You deserved it 25 917

Draining

By grlzze444 - 16/11/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 513

You deserved it 4 157

We need everyone on this!

By Lewis - 26/01/2019 19:30 - France - Paris

Apparently, there is an "I" in "I don't give a f..."

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 115

Everybody has a body

By PixiXOXO - 26/07/2012 18:07 - Denmark - Birker?d

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 5 448

By anonymous - 25/11/2015 02:59 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 299

You deserved it 1 538

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 06:24 - United States

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 570

You deserved it 14 706

By WoofWoof - 07/12/2009 18:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of six months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He went quiet, and I heard barking in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 192

You deserved it 5 021

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

By Rose - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 745

You deserved it 2 465

By djfail - 01/09/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 867

You deserved it 6 539

By Anonymous - 27/06/2013 20:27 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 486

You deserved it 6 438

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Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 366

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 858

You deserved it 2 361

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 548

You deserved it 51 173

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 791

You deserved it 6 947

Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 170

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 364

You deserved it 9 781