By oldandmarriedapparently - 02/03/2010 05:15 - United States
The Top
What the hell did you do?
By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 14:01 - United States - Steele
It burns
By WTF - 16/03/2011 22:05
By marcranger - 06/12/2013 02:30 - United States - Littleton
marcranger tells us more.
Call the cops
By sacrophage - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada
By Ape - 17/12/2012 23:12 - United States
By emchocolat - 16/12/2012 16:55 - Europe
emchocolat_fml tells us more.
Thanks for your comments and highly original puns ! Just to clear the language issue up: "I was burgled" is correct British English (as opposed to American English) and means "Somebody broke into my house and stole things that belonged to me". "Burglarized" is the American synonym. The site said I come from Europe - I do, but it's a big place. I come from England and I live in Mayotte, a French territory in the Indian Ocean.
By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States
By ali456 - 01/12/2013 15:16 - United Kingdom - Dudley
ali456 tells us more.
For those who are saying what he did was 'quite fishy', I have to agree. His excuse was, and I quote, "I only realised I had to pick you up half way through the journey, and there was no point turning back". I'm currently not speaking to him, for pretty obvious reasons, and he's now staying at his parents house. The reason I 'normally wouldn't have minded' is because if I wasn't pregnant, and if it wasn't raining, I easily could've caught the bus or walked home and sorted him out afterwards! He is also friends with his ex, and I've met her and spoken to her on quite casual terms before. And for the people who called me a 'chump' and said that I 'shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place', thank you - I'll keep it in mind for next time!
By Very_Bad_Luck - 10/08/2009 04:41 - United States
Very_Bad_Luck tells us more.
Hi. I'm deciding to comment on my own FML to truly thank the people who wish me luck and keep me in their prayers. If you wish to learn more check out my profile. Thanks!!
Don't let it come to this
By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 02:01
Superstition
By OhGodWhy - 23/05/2020 08:00
Been there, done that
By randomgirl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
By youshitme - 01/03/2011 12:12 - Australia
youshitme tells us more.
Hello all ... I've just seen the comments on this ... There were quite a few comments assuming that since I fished out a 2 buck coin from a dunny, that I'd be an unemployed dole bludger. I've never been on any sort of welfare. The previous comment of Sydney being a very expensive city to live in was correct. I don't earn that much, generally between $700-$1100 a week, depending on how busy work is, but I've never been a 'dole bludger', I work very hard, thank you very much.
By emih - 21/02/2010 08:32 - United States
By vidzgrl - 28/01/2009 19:51 - Canada
Gender bending
By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 16:59
Family jewels
By DanJames24 - 05/06/2020 14:00
By Clare - 21/02/2011 23:15 - Canada
Stank
By sadass - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia
Give us a cig, mate
By Jbs4lf - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Belgium
By cricketsins - 08/11/2013 03:33 - United States - Smyrna
cricketsins tells us more.
Let me give some details before the blasting gets too bad: "beating" was an exaggeration. I was not literally bludgeoning him with a block of cheese. I'm sure that somewhere, someone has done this. That person was not me. It all started because he and I were picking up a few items and he just *happened* to lead me to the cheese aisle in the deli. I love cheese; he knows this and was teasing me. So, one poke led to a pinch, and all of a sudden my cheese-rage took hold and I was swatting him with a block of cheese. It was all in good fun. We are always joking and wrestling around. While we have both seriously hurt one another while wrestling, it's always an accident.
Pampered
By really karen?! - 30/09/2021 05:00 - United States
Helping hand
By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 02:02
By imchacon22 - 26/10/2013 22:42 - United States - Fort Riley
imchacon22 tells us more.
Just to clear things up it is technically my house. My parents are rather well off and gave me a house and it's under my name. This was before we got married. Things he bought before we got married are technically his and things we have gotten since we have been married are ours. And for the person who said he defended our country so he should be allowed to do that, no honey just because he served our country doesn't make him entitled to make decisions like this without me. His mom has only met me once when she came to stay with us and in that short week she managed to insult me each and every single day and to act like she was running things. She isn't in need either it's just that his sister and brother don't want her living with them either because of the way she acts and demands things so I guess he's doing it to get her off their backs. But anyways maybe he'll change his mind or she will get a job and a place of her own.
Payback
By AUDONEE - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
****** around, found out
By I blame Youtube - 05/01/2023 00:00
By Ella - 24/07/2009 02:26 - United States
Black sheep of the office
By Webmonkey - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Too embarrassed to get them from a store?
By Anonymous - 14/07/2020 02:00
Keywords
This actually happened a couple years ago, and to answer everyone's implied questions, yes he is now my ex, yes this incident was the catalyst, yes I called the cops, and yes I got the car back! After standing outside for a few seconds with my jaw flapping in the wind, then realizing my phone was in the car to top everything else off, I went back inside and had the attendant dial the local cops. Since I knew the make, model, license plate, and rough direction where the cockhole was going, it was pretty easy to track down. He did have the audacity to call me and ask (demand, actually) that I bail his ass out, but I laughed and hung up. I ultimately wound up dropping the charges, since his parents are very well-connected in their hometown, and I knew the lawyer they got him would have been able to get him off on probation or something equally pathetic. But mostly I dropped them because the family was wealthy and vindictive enough that I could have seen them suing me (!!!) to get back the cost of the lawyer's fees, and once it was all said and done, I just wanted a clean break. He had some mental health issues (depression, alcoholism, longtime unemployment) going on way before this, and I'd been weighing my options for getting out for a while. At least his real-life GTA5 enactment gave me the chance I needed!