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Don't go

By Paulshaun1 - 06/10/2016 13:38 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, my mother told me she thinks it is time for me to move into my own place. I agreed with her and went to look at studios/flats online. She later came into my room, saw me looking at places and then got pissed off at me, saying that I hate her for wanting to leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 312

You deserved it 702

By JDCH_99 - 27/08/2015 15:36 - Canada - Toronto

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 744

You deserved it 1 561

JDCH_99 tells us more.

JDCH_99 10

Friday 28 August 2015 16:22

OP here -- we told her. We didn't have a choice. She was devastated and will be for some time. She's spent considerable time at farms, so she gets the whole cycle-of-life thing but it's different when there is an emotional connection. There won't be any dogs in the near future. Maybe in the spring we can talk about adopting a rescue dog.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

By ShootMe - 07/09/2017 23:15

Today, a high maintenance client informed me that he wants 50+ pages of new content added to his website "now". He doesn't understand that I also have 30+ other clients to write for. I'm wondering if I can charge him for my new anxiety meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 332

You deserved it 331

Bad Day for a Good Boy

By Dakota - 28/09/2017 04:30

Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 950

You deserved it 940

By Ohdear - 16/06/2019 16:08 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 626

By someonesometime - 29/07/2016 04:14 - United States - Billings

Today, I was fired from my job because my boss "doesn't think I'm happy there". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 341

You deserved it 1 338

someonesometime tells us more.

someonesometime 10

Sunday 31 July 2016 6:05

OP here. First submission got posted :) there is no HR to talk to as there was only me, the owner and another coworker and we all got along just fine. I do have Resting Bitch Face but I'm aware of it and consciously smile to make up for it. I also did not have a bad attitude. The worst part was that I was still training so I haven't had time to meet the requirements of the job or not. Oh well, she was a flaky boss anyway. But she said she'd give me a good reference.

By Broke - 27/07/2016 16:38 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I are looking at places to stay to meet for the first time. I figured renting a small vacation apartment would be ideal because he's not able to help pay because he isn't working and I'm not rich. He's telling me he can only be comfortable in 4 star hotels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 027

You deserved it 2 341

By Midion - 11/07/2016 22:52 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I biked to the lake. And by "to" I mean "into". With my phone in my jacket and my laptop in my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 073

You deserved it 4 679

Midion tells us more.

Midion 6

Wednesday 13 July 2016 2:32

Sorry for the typo. I had this funny adventure and I didn't want to open an account to share it. By the way, I do exist in Milton (Cambridshire), and the lake was in Mill Road, Cambridge. I had to f***ing bike 20 minutes back home totally wet. Luckily my impermeable jacket and my rain-proof backpack saved my electronics.... Let's make a laugh together on it! Cheers, El Midion (this name is obviously not real, I don't wanna tell you my real one! XD)

Which one are you?

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 00:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 720

You deserved it 3 454

By SMCHR - 09/05/2011 03:22 - Ireland

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 273

You deserved it 3 676

Scheiße!

By Xerfox - 03/07/2016 18:05 - Germany - Löwenstein

Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 526

You deserved it 1 994

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 08/12/2019 18:00

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 387

You deserved it 603

By sallymay - 08/02/2018 19:00 - United States - Rockland

Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 617

You deserved it 1 604

Freedom

By notsoaloneanymore - 17/06/2016 04:32 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 097

You deserved it 3 193

I HATE MUSICALS!

By lesson.learned - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Littlehampton

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 264

You deserved it 51 321

Timing

By Anonymous - 16/03/2020 00:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend came out of the closet. In the middle of us having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 275

By zaktor - 08/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my fundraising job, I got my biggest donation ever: $500. I accidentally added a zero and charged the donor $5000. What I actually got? An angry phone call and a lecture from my boss. What I didn't get? A donation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 3 659

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 837

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 394

You deserved it 38 623

By Kakapo4Ever - 20/05/2016 09:01 - United Kingdom - Abingdon

Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 696

You deserved it 1 408

Kakapo4Ever tells us more.

Kakapo4Ever 11

Saturday 21 May 2016 0:00

This is OP here. Firstly, I live in Oxfordshire, England as of now but I used to live in Singapore, which is tropical, so geckos were everywhere, inside and out - especially as our house had a relatively wild and unkempt garden. They weren't any trouble at all and the only ways of keeping them out of the house were cruel, so yeah they were just all over the walls and floors. This is when the FML happened. Secondly, it's not outlandish to assume someone may have dropped a bit of food on the floor is it? Surely more likely than a ******* gecko head. And yes I agree the true FML is for the gecko...twas a tragic night :(

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 821

You deserved it 71 186