By stillloveherthough - 26/02/2016 17:54 - Germany - Aachen
The Top
By FuglyBetty - 24/02/2016 22:48 - Norway - Arendal
How could you?
By Harry641 - 23/02/2016 22:53 - United Kingdom - Hounslow
Sliced and diced
By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 08:01
By OPforonepiece - 19/02/2016 14:38 - Netherlands - Delft
Early learner
By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States
Wind up merchant
By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
By acmariner99 - 17/11/2018 18:35 - United States - Indianapolis
acmariner99 tells us more.
By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis
By Username - 10/10/2011 03:30 - United States
Company policy
By IDPlease - 07/12/2018 03:00
By Lisa - 11/12/2018 04:00 - Romania
By Unlucky - 19/12/2018 02:00 - United Kingdom - Bagworth
By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco
SexxiKitty tells us more.
Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)
Tipsy
By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville
An FML Photo captioned by hoperpq. Well done!
By hoperpq - 28/02/2017 09:36 - France - Paris
By jimmy - 30/11/2015 21:27 - Canada - Orangeville
By Secret Isis supporter - 19/11/2015 00:52 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 08/11/2015 06:15 - Canada - Gatineau
Jingle bells
By LonelyThisChristmas - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham
By college student - 23/04/2017 10:00 - United States - College Park
By Yudith - 04/06/2019 02:00
Vampire News
By Anonymous - 30/11/2016 01:48
By sig - 22/11/2016 13:54
By kmtau - 09/11/2016 21:38 - United States - Fort Worth
kmtau tells us more.
OP here. First of all, I'd like to let everyone know that I don't give a rat's ass about your opinion of septum piercings. That being said, I knew my grandma would not be happy about it but I did it anyway because I've wanted one for a long time. She did apologize shortly after saying this, and now she's gotten used to it! Yesterday when we were at a restaurant she reached over to fix it because it was crooked and has even shown me cute jewelry for it that she found online :)
By Litterbox - 20/04/2009 02:09 - United States
Litterbox tells us more.
Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-
So similar
By StillLoveMyDogs - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco
By smart move there - 16/05/2012 16:10 - Ireland - Naas
By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill
By Chelstable - 02/08/2016 17:57
Keywords
OP here. Yeah, 1k is what the insurance company told me. I knew it was a ripoff and found a local repair shop to fix the window for ... much less than that. I am not sure what the thieves saw in a bag of grubby shorts and a t-shirt, but that’s what they took. And why the f am listed as being in Indianapolis, I live nowhere near there. LOL.