The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Sexy moves

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 177

The Oracle

By Kevin - 14/08/2022 06:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She has early onset dementia, butt was a pretty OK day. All was going well until she looked at her son and said he was skinny, which admittedly he is quite skinny, but then looked me dead in the eye and said, "You need to lose weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 236

This is fine

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 10:00 - United States - Cerritos

Today, I got another parking ticket because I can't afford a parking pass for the school I attend. I now have over $700 in unpaid parking tickets. I have classes all day from Monday-Thursday. I work Friday-Sunday. They recently cut hours at work. Some days I can't afford to feed myself. My mom said, "Figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 506

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 00:00

Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 1 144

This is fine

By Ouch - 29/05/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I are too much alike. We're both too stubborn to accept any olive branch from each other, even though all we want is to make up, so we just live in this mutual self-inflicted hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 688

Meandering

By Kate & Nate - 29/11/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 223

Nice try

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, to get back at my ex, I told him he couldn't see our kids until he pays back the money he owes me. Little did I know, he'd secretly recorded our conversation and now I might lost custody of my kids for "parental alienation." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 147

Wake up Boo

By Anon - 03/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I set an elaborate alarm system to wake up early. I woke up to the soothing sounds of birds chirping, only to discover that I had accidentally set my ringtone to bird noises instead of an actual alarm. I missed my morning meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 564

Petty BS

By Anonymous - 05/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a coworker told me that another coworker only treats me badly because I never asked her out. We’ve worked together for 3 years, if she wanted a date why didn’t she just ask me out instead? All she did was ruin her chances; she’s been so mean to me, I’d never ask her out now. What petty BS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 89

Ringing those bells

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 156

Home sweet home

By Anonymous - 07/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for putting away her rain coat and two sweaters that were hanging on the back of chairs. Because, “I was about to do that!” My mistake. They had only been there for a week. Ah, marital bliss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 89

Guilty

By Fly-Trapping Monster - 14/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 394

Self-confidence boost

By Uri - 12/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 163

That went well

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 674

Clogged

By ISmellBread - 15/12/2023 12:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 264

Get this shit away from me

By Tipped off - 18/06/2025 22:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I ordered sushi for dinner. When it arrived, I realized the delivery driver had given me the wrong order, a family-sized vegan lasagna. I don’t even like regular lasagna, let alone vegan lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 98

You're never alone on FML

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 12:00

Today, and every day, is a reminder of things I can't have. Simple things, like a partner who understands me or a best friend. Not the best friend title that we give away, but a real best friend. The person that you can rely on emotionally. I see abusers have whole families, but I can't get people to stay in my life. I feel alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 233

Commuter blues

By Brücken NRW - 20/12/2023 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have to cross a bridge every day on my way to work. Except for this week, as the bridge was closed for repairs and the detour turned my half an hour drive into one and a half hours. Now it turns out that the bridge is irreparably damaged and has to be replaced, which will likely take four or five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 104

Admiral Ackbar didn't warn you?

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 15:00 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 607

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 20:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 226

Post-truth world

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, I had to block my mom on most social media sites because she's continually tagging me in the comments under blatantly fake AI videos, and asking me, "Is this one real??" FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 89

How the turntables…

By You gotta be kidding me - 25/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife announced her support for Donald Trump for president, someone who vehemently is against immigrants. She herself is an immigrant from Colombia, who became a naturalized US citizen last year. She became this way because she was undocumented and I, a US citizen, married her so she could have papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 472

She's a keeper

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 21:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my wife of 8 years has been cheating on me for 5 of those years, making fun of me with her family that I don't have a social life outside of her and my 3 kids. I'm waiting to get my spinal fusion completed, so I'm a stay-at-home who that can't do much and have no other options, including no one to talk to about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 133

Better late than never

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I realised that despite all my careful Christmas preparation, there is one thing I forgot to get. The gift for my wife, which I should've picked up from the shop I ordered it from. It’s sat in that shop right now at 7pm on Christmas Eve. I’m a dead man tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 597

YOU MUST CONFORM

By Brandnew102 - 30/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized that being 60 pounds lighter has made every guy that crossed my path worship the ground I walk on. When I had the weight, guys would flinch at me, or not give me the time of day. I just want to be treated as a human being, no matter what size I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 270

Reputable

By Heartbroken Dad - 30/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out why this reputable personal trainer resigned from our local gym. My wife started an affair with him and he thought it was better to quit so their relationship could be ethical. The worst part of all of this? Our 1.5 year old son is actually his and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 149

Where are we going?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got into an Uber, excited for the date I was going to. After about 20 minutes, I had a confused conversation with the driver, because it seemed like we were going to the wrong address. I checked the app, I'd booked a ride to my ex’s place out of habit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 629

Now you tell me!

By IdPreferNotThanks - 05/09/2022 15:30

Today, my fiancée told me I'm not her type, and that my touch is repulsive. We've been living together for over a year, and have been together for over four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 184

Welcome to reality

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my dad came home roughly 3 hours early. He came back because he was laid off from his job, because there was no work for him on his current shift and they haven't found a replacement shift for him at the job he's currently at. Shouldn't they have figured that out in advance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 98

It's not just stuff

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my almost-mother-in-law demanded I give my engagement ring back because it was originally her great-grandmother's, and she has now decided she wants it to go to her youngest son’s fiancée instead. My fiancé agreed and told me he’d just buy me another. He doesn’t get why I’m so upset either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 103

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Coworkers Smells Work Miscellaneous Family Funerals Awkward Money Food Health Kids Friends Love Transportation Cheating Intimacy NSFW Sex Frustration Teachers Relatable Parents Instagram I need your advice Ghosting Social Media Weddings Weird Crush

The Top

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 164

You deserved it 151 618

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last two miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 984

You deserved it 5 712

Random

Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 244

You deserved it 1 506

Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 075

You deserved it 1 122

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 423

You deserved it 4 587

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaimed, "That was amazing Drew." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name, which doesn't sound anything like Drew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 105

You deserved it 4 115

Today, I came home early from work and found my brother in my bed with a girl I've never met. Apparently he's been using my house to hook up with girls while I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 781

You deserved it 391

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 75