The Top

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Happy birthday, dear…

By Anonymous - 15/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Rockford

Today, while singing "Happy Birthday", my boyfriend's mom said his ex's name instead of mine. Almost everyone at the party got it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 58

Sensitive

By killer! - 04/08/2023 16:00

Today, I sobbed hard to the point of hyperventilating and throwing up. Why? I instinctually stomped on a roach but didn’t see the egg sack she was carrying. I feel like I murdered a mom and her babies. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 977

Quack

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 140

Internalized

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 00:00 - Brazil - Joinville

Today, I was called a "transphobic bigot" at work because I told my coworker, a trans woman, that her clothing and behaviour were disrespectful and inadequate for the workplace. I'm also a trans woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 154

By Tee - 10/11/2009 02:20 - Australia

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 5 445

Many such cases!

By Anonymous - 22/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I bought my dog an expensive orthopedic bed because I felt bad that he was getting older. He sniffed it for 5 seconds, walked away, and spent the night sleeping on the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, the box has better lumbar support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 107

It's not what you think

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 15:00 - Costa Rica - Santa Cruz

Today, me (24) and my girlfriend (23) got ‘intimate’ on a private beach you can only get to by boat. Afterwards, she had to unironically put armbands on to swim back to boat just as another boat came by. I got called "Pedo!" multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 84

Force of habit, or just mean?

By leogs23 - 02/03/2021 20:01

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 84

Wild goose chase

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I left my headphones on the bus and didn't realize until I got home. I used the tracking app and saw they were moving around the city. I followed the location for half an hour before realizing the signal was coming from my own neighborhood because the headphones had been sitting in my backpack the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 371

Windows 95

By Jandro - 30/08/2026 20:00 - Mexico

Today, I got written up for filing a complaint against IT for unplugging my computer while I was on my lunch break. I found out because one of my workmates warned me. I work with a computer so old, it takes about 40 minutes to get it running. The company refuses to update the equipment, because "it's unnecessary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 61

Sweet

By f_ck_U - 03/09/2026 20:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, I returned to my sweet home after a two-month cozy vacation full of good memories, only to find that the place was sweet no more and had turned into a bug and mold-infested Petri dish uninhabitable for any living creature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 148

Overprepared

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, it's been three days since I started preparing for a video interview, including practicing my answers and arranging the background behind me. Five minutes before it started, I noticed I'd been preparing for the wrong time zone. I was sitting in a perfect interview setup three hours too early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 212

WHERE IS IT?

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I spent Saturday helping my uncle clean out his garage. He told me to throw away a box of “old useless cables.” I did. Later, he asked where the box was because it contained the only charger for his 20-year-old camera. We spent 3 hours searching the recycling bins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 62

Step one: admitting we are powerless

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to start controlling my drinking and he told me pretty much that he didn’t think I could do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 397

Sleepless

By Anonymous - 10/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, I have a huge test coming up for my licensing boards and if I don’t pass, I can’t work. I’ve been so stressed that I’ve hardly eaten or gotten more than a few hours sleep in the last couple of days. Without sleep, I can’t study. Without studying, I can’t pass. I’m literally worrying myself sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 93

By trigfail - 25/09/2010 08:57 - New Zealand

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 609

You deserved it 46 188

We don't need no education

By whyisitneverenough - 26/08/2023 08:00

Today, after years of toil and stress, and months of agony and torture, I have received my iGCSE exam results. I passed them all but because I'm a perfectionist and didn't get the highest grades, I feel like crap. Now I'm thinking about how I'll have to go through it all again for A levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 814

Time for a block of your own

By honey - 05/02/2025 22:00 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, an old friend unblocked me. Two years ago, she blocked me with no explanation. I got a notification saying she followed me on Instagram. I asked a mutual friend, and they said, "Oh yeah, she broke up with her partner. I guess she’s going through it." So, she unblocked me because she’s lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 91

Risky move

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 09:00 - Canada

Today, I sent a risky text to my crush and immediately put my phone on airplane mode so I wouldn’t spend the next hour anticipating and responding to his reply. I forgot I did this and spent the whole day thinking he was ignoring me, but when I switched it back on, I'd not received a single message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 509

The spark is gone

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, my husband of 16 years had to force himself to be intimate with me. In his words, not because he’s not attracted to me but because he no longer has emotions or feelings towards me. I’m still deeply in love and had to force intimacy because now I feel like I’m just a means to an end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 149

By anime_love - 17/09/2010 04:43 - United States

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 886

You deserved it 3 897

Money for nothing

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 10:00

Today, four years after coming back home from working in another country, I got a tax bill from that country. For my income there from two years ago. If they give me the money I supposedly earned, I'll gladly pay those taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 93

Nice try

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 22:00

Today, I was texted out of the blue by a girl I treated to dinner last year. Since then, we'd chatted and met in passing a few times, but she'd turned down or cancelled all my other date invitations. Sadly, she wasn't trying to meet up. She wanted $500 to benefit a male friend, who was down on his luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 136

Get out

By F.U. QFN - 28/03/2021 00:29

Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 129

Thanks asshat

By DietingTomorrow - 09/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was cleaning a tall window on a stepping stool. All of a sudden, the stool gave way under me, sending me plummeting to the ground. My husband muttered, “Maybe if you laid off the Krispy Kremes this wouldn’t have happened!” laughed and left. My 16 year-old daughter had to drive me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 193

Size matters

By MobPerfect - 11/05/2012 13:24 - United States - Providence

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 562

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 02/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I realized that whether it takes me 3 minutes or 3 hours to get ready, my husband always has the same reaction, “Uh… yeah babe, you look fine.” Thanks for the confidence boost babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 441

Overreaction

By sadie - 01/04/2021 23:00

Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 118

Rosy picture

By Heartbroken - 03/03/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my son complained that he didn't want to go to school. My husband asked, "Want to swap? You can go work all day, come home tired, and your only reward is a whiny wife and bratty child griping and complaining and expecting you to fix every problem." Part of me died when I heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 473

Good deed, or not

By Everything Counts - 22/09/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, my throat itches and I'm congested. It's Friday, the day I'm supposed to be heading down to help my folks clean out their basement. I have had to cancel on them for two weeks now because this seems to always hit me on a Friday. I want to help, but don't want to infect my parents, who are in their late 60s and mid 70s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 159

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The Top

Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 693

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 593

You deserved it 31 999

Random

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 103

You deserved it 2 104

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 359

You deserved it 5 485

Today, I found out why my parents have been trying to convince me not to go to college this year. I also found out where the $20,000 they just spent on landscaping came from. My college fund. Which is now $0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 428

You deserved it 3 039

Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 364

You deserved it 265

Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 182

Today, I spotted a huge Twitch streamer at Whole Foods. I ran up to say hi but caught her making out with another streamer she just did a music video with… even though she’s supposedly dating someone else. She froze, I panicked, and bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 300