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Long list of grievances

By ADayAtATime - 10/03/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 147

By olivia_stealth - 08/02/2009 23:50 - United States

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 377

You deserved it 40 372

olivia_stealth_fml tells us more.

olivia_stealth_fml 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 3:17

thanks for all your imput. for the record i am in GT and AP classes and my parents expect at least a 3.75 GPA ususally. i am still currently grounded, and won't be ungrounded until i recieve a 4.0 on my report card. WHICH is technically a 5.0 with AP credit. so do not criticize my "ambition or self respect", vm2012, because I guarentee I have a better transcript than you. kthanks to everyone else for your comments! <333

How? Why?

By WetMorning - 05/11/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 698

Dream baby dream

By ugh - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Troy

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 482

You deserved it 3 489

By paradox - 07/02/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, I realized my best friend has had it off in my apartment more times than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 456

You deserved it 5 366

Back in the red

By Brandon Lafantaisie - 03/05/2020 14:00

Today, I sneezed and pulled every muscle in my lower back. For the third time in two years, after $3000+ in physiotherapy. Round 3, here we come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 251

Fake news

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 00:01 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I had to submit references so my anatomy/physiology teacher might acknowledge that tetanus is not the same as muscle cramps, and correct the lesson that's been in place for six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 100

Lord of the lost rings

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 18:00

Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 138

Nepo baby

By Anonymous - 15/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, after I took up a job to design a website for a company, I had everything done… but they went with someone else. Their boss's nephew made a site that looks like it was pulled from late '90s GeoCities site, and is full of spelling errors and broken links. They paid him $5000 for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 105

By alone - 06/02/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 2 800

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 13:59

Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 701

Shook

By Spooked - 19/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, for the first time in my 20 years of life, I heard my dad unironically say the f-word. I was so shocked by it that I became became practically frozen for a full minute, which is not a very good thing to happen when you're at work, and your boss is watching you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 06:31

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 132

You deserved it 11 363

Heartbreaking

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 10:00 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I learned that I'm highly allergic to onions. I love onions and they're in literally *everything*. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 155

People person

By Validate me please - 22/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out that having a "praise kink" is apparently not normal. I didn't even know that was a thing. I thought wanting validation was something that applied to everyone. How comforting it is to know that regularly seeking approval from others is considered abnormal. My mental health is real messed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 190

By anonymous - 27/02/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 603

You deserved it 3 121

By canadiansun - 26/02/2010 18:37 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 226

You deserved it 4 064

TFIF, eh?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 18:00

Today, I was going to spend my weekend celebrating my first time not being sick since Labor Day. I woke up with a sinus infection instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 132

Communication Breakdown

By loling - 25/02/2010 09:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 512

You deserved it 3 881

By picaboo - 10/08/2009 16:41 - Singapore

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 088

You deserved it 68 472

It means he cares

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 06:01 - United States - Roselle

Today, I found out that my boyfriend jerked off more times than he called me when I was out of town for 4 days. Me: 0; porn: 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 713

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 337

You deserved it 3 838

By deliveryboy - 05/03/2011 15:46 - China

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 756

You deserved it 8 863

By wowza - 31/01/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 519

You deserved it 2 509

Unprepared

By Anonymous - 12/10/2025 09:00

Today, during a job interview, I was asked to describe myself in three words. My mind went blank, so I panicked and blurted out, “Hungry, sleepy and… flexible?” The interviewer raised an eyebrow and said, “That's not the worst answer I've ever gotten but… come on.” I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 22:13 - Denmark

Today, I saw a naked man for the first time in my life. It was the nude model in my art class. I was forced to draw wrinkles and fat rolls in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 5 290

Yummy

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 23:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 371

Breaking Badly

By Anonymous - 31/05/2020 20:00

Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 146

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 00:00

Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 106

Thanks for nothing

By Guess I'll Die - 13/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 461

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Random

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 034

You deserved it 3 769

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 997

You deserved it 6 007

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 459

You deserved it 8 491

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 762

You deserved it 28 655

Today, I found out that my wife is indeed cheating on me. Not bad enough? She's sleeping with a guy who squats in a derelict storefront near our house. A hobo stole my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 210

Today, I need a remote position due to a disability, but no company will even try to work with me. My car just died. I'll never be able to live on my own, despite being 30. The worst part? All the people who are gonna reply and call me "entitled." FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 192