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Keep cool

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 614

You deserved it 5 771

NOT THE MAN BUN!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my future son-in-law try and fail to parallel park 8 times before he gave up and started crying. That’s the 4th time he’s cried this weekend. I’m trying so hard to understand why my daughter loves him. He’s an unemployed little crybaby, with a man bun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 258

Well played

By anonymous - 05/03/2014 05:43 - United States - League City

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 405

You deserved it 3 645

Too many to count

By pagvscgrac - 13/03/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 089

You deserved it 25 378

Bunch of amateurs

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 09:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 11/03/2012 23:19 - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 325

You deserved it 29 234

By Catie - 13/05/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 947

You deserved it 4 542

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I took my best friend to see her dad in hospital. While they were talking in another room about his care, he took his last lucid words before his death. I was the only one there and I'd never even met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 71

Sucks to suck

By ladeda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I'd won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 188

You deserved it 6 873

Genius

By cunting cuntface of a boss - 25/02/2014 20:42 - Australia

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 303

You deserved it 3 498

Stoooooop!

By DIY560 - 24/02/2014 03:59 - United States - Ambler

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 786

You deserved it 3 731

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 13:18 - United States - Allendale

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 252

You deserved it 44 148

Side effects

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 19:59 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 152

It's a holly, jolly Christmas

By KittyT - 06/01/2024 09:38 - Australia - Buderim

Today, Christmas got cancelled this Saturday because of my narcissistic sister being upset that the guest list has two of her old friends, who are now my friends. It's my first Christmas with my family or friends in 23 years, and my mum even offered her a separate dinner on the 25th, but nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 251

KittyT tells us more.

KittyT 13

Friday 22 December 2023 7:46

the 2 friends are our other sister(was adopted when we were her and I were 12 and we had a falling out as teenagers and made up recently), and her ex best friend who was clear that he had no interest in her and never would... but my sister was delusional.that would change... then our other sister and her ex best friend met and started flirting and she attacked them for it.

Waiting line

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 09:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, just like every day for the past two months, I have bled quite a lot into the toilet. The emergency room said it was a GI bleed, but that it would take a while to get it checked. Six weeks is not what I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 80

By ashamedklutz - 22/02/2014 00:20 - United Kingdom - Dunfermline

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 610

You deserved it 5 062

By Tommy - 06/03/2012 18:55 - United States

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 783

You deserved it 23 395

By CWoah - 14/09/2009 15:17 - Canada

Today, it was my court date for a car accident I was involved in back in July. I had spent months preparing a case to prove my innocence. I was scheduled to appear at 10:00 this morning. I woke up at 10:15AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 044

You deserved it 69 997

By Nope - 05/03/2012 09:42 - China

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 414

You deserved it 24 089

Monster madness

By Anonymous - 29/12/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and his girlfriend cancelled their wedding and eloped because they were sick of my ex-wife being a Monster-in-law. The last straw was when she called the dress shop and tried to cancel the wedding dress because it “made her look like a slut.” Now I missed seeing my son get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 181

Feeling let down

By Ryan - 27/06/2021 02:01

Today, after my fourth flat tire, I realized that I've had more flat tires in the last 2 years than months in relationships throughout my entire life. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 160

The R-word

By How old am I again? - 05/09/2022 00:30 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 508

Hell in a handbasket

By Depressed - 01/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I live in a country where people are debating something called "The big, beautiful bill." The bill itself is terrible if you're not a sociopathic rich person, but the media is actually using that name. Big beautiful bill. Are we a nation of children? If so, well, googoo gaga I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 279

By BonGoWash - 07/02/2013 14:45 - United States - Bronxville

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 973

You deserved it 5 721

By CptZoe - 29/02/2012 18:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 795

You deserved it 16 500

Weird friendship, but OK

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 14:01

Today, I'm completely in love with my best friend, who I've known for over 10 years. I can't get him out of my head. Too bad he's married, with 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 475

Badass

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 09:00

Today, on a plane, a little kid was kicking the back of my son's chair. When the kid's mom went to the toilet, my son told this little kid, "If you kick my chair one more time, I’m going to kill your mom and you’ll never see her again." He stopped kicking but damn, what kind of son did I raise? FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 259

Covid 24

By Yudith - 01/01/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I am passing New Year's Eve alone with my cat because everybody around me decided to celebrate in close committee, had a family emergency, or caught the C plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 137

Go on, give me one

By Anonymous - 10/09/2022 21:30

Today, I’ve had it with my best friend. She is a very jealous individual, who is never happy for me. I told her I was going to be a grandma again to ANOTHER set of twins, this time paternal, and we are going to have 6 grandbabies now. She got an attitude, and said, “Well, isn’t that nice” and then insulted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 329

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 02:00

Today, I got my report card, and thought I did pretty well with a GPA of 3.58. My parents freaked out over the 3 B's I had, and proceeded to look up which colleges would still accept me. I just finished my first quarter as a freshman in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 126

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The Top

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130 283

You deserved it 300 421

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 888

You deserved it 2 669

Random

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 825

You deserved it 2 871

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the Bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 884

You deserved it 7 613

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 693

You deserved it 8 666

Today, I checked on an uncle following his surgery. I got a two-hour monologue of how the internet doesn't really save paper, because he has to print the bills and receipts, plus pay for ink and staples, and that utility companies are really just shifting costs to the consumer by going "paperless". FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 178

Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 2 270

Today, I found out my roommate gambled his portion of the rent money on Israel Adesanya. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 93