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Time to run

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 06:21 - Canada

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 430

You deserved it 2 624

Blackout

By DeePDowneR99 - 20/08/2022 10:00

Today, my dad took away my TV, books, and even my posters off the walls. Apparently he got a call from my headmistress, and I "should know what I did to deserve this." The thing is, I don't, I truly have no idea what I could have done to be punished like this, but I'm too scared to ask him to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 174

Thanks Mom

By melissa - 13/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 98

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 16/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my long-term relationship of over a decade ended very badly. We didn't speak nor look at each other while I was dropping his stuff off. Of course, my car battery died, and I had to ask him for help and had to see his parents. His dad couldn't get the hood open for about ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 129

By kasai_x0x - 19/06/2010 16:27 - Canada

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 489

You deserved it 36 124

By civic4life - 17/09/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 646

You deserved it 55 680

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 06:00

Today, my date threw me out because I wouldn’t hit her in the face to really get her excited. I offered to spank her butt if she really wanted to be hit, but she wanted me to beat her until she had bruises and could taste blood. The girl had issues, so I was happy to be thrown out to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 244

Push it!

By Stace - 21/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 119

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 215

You deserved it 4 183

By spenmy - 13/06/2010 09:56 - United States

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 306

You deserved it 3 341

House hunting

By ohboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 638

You deserved it 21 725

Not feeling it

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 02:01

Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 388

Trip of a lifetime

By Just got friendzoned - 24/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, on a vacation with my best friend who I’m secretly in love with, I was dressed to the nines, and felt confident and upbeat about myself. Not once has he made a move on me the entire time, not even in the hotel room we both shared. At the end of the trip he told me I’m “such a great friend.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 707

False red flag

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:12 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 2 755

By thisistypical - 14/09/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 3 081

Tell us more about this trial business

By Anonymous - 22/09/2022 20:30

Today, while reading up on my ex-brother-in-law’s trial, I tripped over my own two feet, and heard my wrists, hands and fingers crack on a stone table. I can’t afford any more hospital bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 255

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 491

You deserved it 7 074

Respect the herb

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 10:00

Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 608

Diagnosis results

By robbed of youth - 02/01/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized that a kid in my class is actually autistic and didn't have ADHD. The teachers went out of their way to lie that he has ADHD and not autism. No wonder people thought I was a "retard" (their words, not mine) when it came out that I had ADHD and started using classroom accommodations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 153

By shaviTuT - 07/02/2013 19:44 - Malaysia - Bandar Penggaram

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 473

You deserved it 2 678

Classic escape plan

By Amanda - 31/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was talking to a guy I liked. He was dumped so he was ranting about how there's no good girls left. I mustered up some courage and told him I was a good girl and that I would treat him right, at which point he pretended to have an emergency phone call and abruptly left. He talked to his lock screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 273

Gooners rise up

By Meanwhile we barely ever fuck - 06/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend left his laptop open, signed into a chat program. I learned why he started working out and eating right. Not to look good for me or be healthier. No, he planned his entire diet and exercise plan so he could shoot the biggest loads possible during "goon sessions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 147

By Jessica - 28/02/2012 19:38 - United States

Today, I got my score back for the monologue I performed. I got points taken off for "seeming nervous." My character was supposed to be nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 357

You deserved it 2 670

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 138

You deserved it 41 022

Security check

By Kammy - 01/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no liquids rule. They took out a bottle of massage oil, lube, Vagisil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 873

You deserved it 70 628

It's not me, it's you

By SingleLoser - 08/09/2022 00:00

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 237

By OhGreat - 30/04/2011 20:30 - United States

Today, my dad went through my room while I was out and threw away the "inappropriate pictures" that he found. They're the nudes I've been working on for art class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 060

You deserved it 5 215

Defeated

By K.O - 09/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, a fly landed on my ear. The suddenly loud buzzing noise scared me so badly that out of instinct, I punched the side of my head so hard that I actually made myself really dizzy. The worst part? I didn't kill the fly. Jackass fly: 1, Dumbass me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 563

Age difference

By Anonymous - 02/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Brunswick

Today, I took my newborn son to his one week weight check appointment. The pediatrician said, “OK, and he’s here today with his mom and big brother?” He thought my husband, who is 21 months older than me, was my son. How old do I look? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 204

It takes two to tango

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 06:00

Today, my wife is blaming me for us having to abort our baby because the amnio showed it would have severe disabilities. I supported her every decision, but apparently me agreeing with her was actually me not wanting to fight harder for our baby to live, hence, it’s all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 209

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The Top

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 46

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 496

Random

Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 069

You deserved it 1 153

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 4 544

Today, my dad and I had to move in with my mom. There's only two tiny rooms, and my aunt lives there along with her dogs and my cat. The dogs have tried to kill my cat, I have to share the bed with my mom, who snores BAD, and I haven't slept in two days. I work early all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 319

Today, I'm stuck in quarantine and my friends are planning stuff like swimming without me in our group chat, instead of doing it in another chat group. It's like I don't even exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 413

Today, yet again, despite the fact that I don't know anything about politics, I got roped into a political discussion with my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 293

Today, during an important music audition, I fudged everything up and forgot half the lyrics of the song I was performing, so I just sort of tailed off into embarrassed silence on stage. It was an original song, I wrote the lyrics myself. All the lady could say was, "Good luck next year, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 141